Jokes about Women

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Horror riddle:
I live in Osaka, Japan and often use the subway to go to work in the morning. One day, when I was waiting for the train, I noticed a homeless man standing in a corner of the subway station, muttering to himself as people passed by. He was holding out a cup and seemed to be begging for spare change.
A fат woman passed by the homeless man and I distinctly heard him say, “Pig.”
Wow, I thought to myself. This homeless man is insulting people and he still expects them to give him money? Then a tall businessman went by and the homeless guy muttered, “Human.” Human? I can’t argue with that. Obviously, he was human. The next day, I arrived early at the subway station and had some time to кill, so I decided to stand close to the homeless man and listen to his strange mutterings. A thin, haggard-looking man passed in front of him and I heard the homeless guy mutter, “Соw.” Соw? I thought. The man was much too skinny to be a соw. He looked more like a turkey or a chicken to me. A minute or so later, a fат man went by and the homeless man said, “Potato.” Potato? I was under the impression that he called all fат people “Pig”. That day, at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about the homeless man and his puzzling behavior. I kept trying to find some logic or pattern in what he was muttering. Perhaps he has some kind of psychic ability, I thought. Maybe he knows what these people were in a previous life. In Japan, many people believe in reincarnation. I observed the homeless man many times and began to think my theory was right. I often heard him calling people things like “Rabbit” or “Onion” or “Sheep” or “Tomato”. One day, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask him what was going on. As I walked up to him, he looked at me and said “Bread.” I tossed some money into his cup and asked him if he had some kind of psychic ability. The homeless man smiled and said, “Yes, indeed. I do have a psychic ability. It is an ability I obtained years ago. But it is not what you might expect. I can’t tell the future or read minds or anything like that."
"Then what is your ability,” I asked eagerly. “The ability is merely to know the last thing somebody ate,” he said. I laughed because I realized he was right. He said “Bread.” The last thing I had eaten for breakfast that day was toast. I walked away shaking my head. Of all the psychic abilities someone could have, that one must be the most useless. What is the hidden horror?
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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
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Της πήρε τα μυαλά... Ο Γερμανός Баба към внучето си: Баба пита внучето: A avó pergunta à neta: Andrea sta facendo i compiti per casa mentre sua nonna parla al telefono con una sua cara amica. Ad un certo punto introduce un discorso su un uomo che le sta facendo perdere la testa e chiede al nipote: - Hijo, como se llama ese cabrón alemán que me lo esconde todo? - Alzheimer, papa, alzheimer… - Nieto, nieto, ¿cómo se llama el capullo alemán ese que me esconde las cosas?. - Alzheimer, abuelo, Alzheimer... Una abuela está tomando el té con unas amigas y su nieta. Y le dice a su nieta: Hija, ¿cómo se llama ese alemán que me vuelve loca. Y la nieta contesta: Alzheimer, abuela, Alzheimer. Dziadek: - Wnuczku ! Jak się nazywa ten cholerny amerykaniec, co mi kawę non stop na obrus wylewa? Wnuczek: - Parkinson, dziadku, Parkinson... Dziadek: - A ten cholerny niemiec, co mi wszystko... Una nonna dice al suo bambino: "Marco, Marco, qual è il tedesco che mi fa impazzire?" E il bambino risponde: "Alzheimer, nonna!!Alzheimer!!" “MARIAAAAAAAA! Come si chiama quel tedesco che mi fa impazzire?”. “Alzheimer, nonna, Alzheimer!” - Wnusiu, jak nazywa się ten Niemiec co mi wszystko chowa? - Alzheimer dziadku, Alzheimer.
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