Jokes about Women

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Две блондинки си говорят: Sagt eine Blondine zur anderen: "Rauchst Du nach dem Sex immer?" Deux secrétaires papotent pendant une pause. La première demande à l'autre: Treffen sich 2 Nutten, sagt die eine: "Sag mal, rauchst Du auch immer hinterher?" Sagt die andere: "Weiss nicht, muss ich mal nachgucken." Frägt die Frau ihre blonde Freundin: "Sag mal, rauchst du eigentlich nach dem Sex?" Meint die blonde Freundin: "Du, ich weiß es gar nicht! Ich hab noch nie nachgeschaut!" Deux blondes discutent de leurs façon de faire l'amour. Pour terminer l'une d'elles demande à l'autre : - Qu'est ce que tu fais toi après l'amour ? L'autre lui répond : - Je fume. Et toi ? - Ah je... Tu fumes après l'amour ? - Je sais pas j'ai jamais regardé !
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A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator.
Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal.
I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my gеniтаls inside.
The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
If it works, everyone buys me drinks."
The crowd agrees.
The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth.
Gator closes mouth.
After a minute, the guy grabs a вееr bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head.
The gator opens wide, and he removes his gеniтаls unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks.
Then he says:
"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
It's a woman.
"I'll give it a try," she says,
"But you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the вееr bottle."
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- Защо са го нарекли го Предменструален синдром? - Защо определено състояние на жената се нарича предменструален синдром? Comment appelle-t-on la maladie de la vache folle en France ? Mistä “kuukautiset” sai nimensä? Hullun lehmän tauti oli jo varattu. Varför kallar kvinnor det för ”PMS”? Svar: ”Galna ko-sjukan” var redan upptaget.
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Talk Dirty to Me If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute. Όταν ένας άντρας λέει χυδαιότητες σε μία γυναίκα είναι διεστραμμένος. Όταν μια γυναίκα λέει χυδαιότητες σε έναν άντρα είναι 3,95€ το λεπτό. Kiedy mężczyzna mówi do kobiety świństewka to jest to molestowanie seksualne. Kiedy kobieta mówi świństewka do mężczyzny, to kosztuje to 4,20zl/min. + VAT! Ако мажот и кажува на жената прљави cekcи работи, тоа е сексуално вознемирување, А ако жената кажува такви работи, тогаш тоа е 120 денари минута + ДДВ .
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Alex an Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it.
She was telling him what colour to paint each room.
They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue."
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" 
When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" 
When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be tan.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" 
When he came back, the lady was pretty curious, so she asked him "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?"
The builder said, "Oh don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwi's laying the turf out front."
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