80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Sтuрid" Convention. The leader says,
"We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not sтuрid. Can I have a volunteer?"
A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says,
"Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says,
"Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world- wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says,
"Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,
"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!" The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says,
"Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says,
"Four?"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...
"Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh, "let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
A man has been stuck on a desert island for 10 years when he notices an unusual speck in the distance. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer the man starts to rule out the possibility that it’s a small boat or even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, is a beautiful blonde woman wearing scuba gear and a wet suit. She approaches the man, who can’t believe his eyes. “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” she asks the man. “It’s been 10 years,” he replies. With that, the woman reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a packet of cigarettes. The man takes one, lights it and takes a long drag. “Man, that is good!” he says. “And how long has it been since you’ve had a sip of bourbon?” the woman asks. Trembling, the castaway explains that it’s also been 10 years. Sure enough, the woman reaches over, unzips her right sleeve and pulls out a flask. The man opens it and takes a swig. “This is the best day of my life,” he says. The woman starts unzipping her long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and looks at the man seductively. “How long has it been since you’ve had some real fun?” she cheekily asks. With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs. “Dear lord! Don’t tell me you’ve got a Playstation in there!” Alternative ending: Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!" Alternative ending: Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop? Alternative ending: Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got Internet? Many similar jokes to this one online, with alternative punchline and a bit altered text, oldest one found on http://www.mnscuba.com , Scuba Jokes Forum page, posted by Рunкy Offline on February 25th 2003