Facebook Jokes

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Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.

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Facebook needs a “I’ll Drink To That” button

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Joke Cafe one liners.
Because we shouldn’t have to think up our own facebook statuses.

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This was a recent conversation that I had with my girlfriend’s father, who knows I do web design.
Father: I have a business idea. How hard is it to make a Facebook?
Me: Oh, that's simple, not hard at all.
Girlfriend: No, he doesn’t mean to make a Facebook profile. He means to redo ALL of Facebook.
Me: Oh. In that case, that's very hard.
Father: Oh, okay. (Pause) What are we talking then, maybe just 3 to 5 hours?

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Well we just cut the Cable...
Facebook offers the Jerry Springer show, Dr. PhIL, Rachel Ray and Captain Kangaroo all on one channel -- Facebook -- gotta love it!!!

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If you’re sick and tired of every Аsshоlе on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.

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The LIKE button: also for choosing sides in a Facebook argument without saying anything.

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You know you’re fсuкing ugly when your Facebook picture is a car…

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The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don’t even have to hide a body.

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I was in the pub with my mate last night when he walked off to the toilet leaving his phone on the table.
As I was just about to update his Facebook status, it started ringing and I could see that it was my wife’s number.
“Hello?” I said, answering it.
“Hey sеxy,” she purred, “I’m currently маsтurватing on the bed and I want you to come here and fuск me.”
“You silly вiтсh,” I said, “Why didn’t you just ring my phone?”

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I think its my mom’s birthday. I should unblock her on facebook and check

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Half of Facebook is completely silent, the other half posts and shares wayyyyyy too much.

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Facebook is telling me to "reconnect" with my brother... Hmmm, I see him everyday

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Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?
That’s as crazy as the discounts at Dave’s Furniture Emporium…

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Facebook, making people who would’nt talk in the street wish each other Happy Birthday since 2004.

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My wife was fuming when I untagged myself from some pictures she put on Facebook.
“They were totally embarrassing though,” I pleaded.
“Embarrassing?” she snapped. “It was our fuскing wedding day, you ваsтаrd!”

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I wonder how many people read my FaceBook statuses and say, “I hope he’s getting professional help”?

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“Batman, we need your help in Paris immediately.”
“Worry not, Commissioner, I’ve already changed my Facebook profile picture.”

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