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No, really, I'm OK to drive.- I'm wasted, but I'm too embarrassed to have anybody see who I'm taking home with me."I'm not used to these darts."
- I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I'm this bombed."You get this one, next round is on me."
- One of us is going to pass out before it's time for another round. "I've had like 10 beers already."
- I've only had three beers, but I need an excuse to behave this way."I'm out of here. I have to work in the morning."
- I owe $100 to the guy who just walked in the door and I've been avoiding him since football season."What do you have on tap?"
- What's cheap?

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: What did the bartender say to his customers?
A: "Men, Viаgrа now comes in liquid form. You can pour yourselves a real stiff one."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Viagra jokes

Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?
A: A new bar

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

A ventriloquist had just finished his роlаск joke routine when a huge, drunк роlаск confronted him, ''I'm sick of your роlаск jokes and I'm going to knock the s**t out of you.
'' ''I'm sorry, it was all in good fun,'' replied the comedian. The роlаск retorted, ''I was talking to the little a**hole on your knee."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

Q: What's the scientific name for Viаgrа?
A: Mycoxafailin

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Viagra jokes

A shipment of Viаgrа was hijacked on the way to the depot.
The police have warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Viagra jokes

Q: What do you get when you mix Rogaine and Viаgrа?
A: Hair that stands straight up on your head.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Viagra jokes

Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viаgrа?
A: Oooh - Henry!

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Dirty jokes Viagra jokes Chocolate Jokes

An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viаgrа pills."
His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Viagra jokes

A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viаgrа for 100 Egyptian pounds.
The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it."
The stranger says, "How about 20?"
The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it."
The stranger says, "How about 10?"
The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it."
The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?"
The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it - my wife isn't."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Viagra jokes

Q: What happens when you mix Viаgrа with Mr. Clean?
A: Rise and shine.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Viagra jokes

Q: What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant fаrт?
A: One's a bar room and the other is a BAROOOOM!

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunк, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion - it's a giraffe."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

A Bear Walks Into a Bar...
A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a pint of вееr and a.......... packet of peanuts." The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?"

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Beer Jokes

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you've got a steering wheel on your pants." The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It's driving me nuts."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Pirate Jokes

A Kangaroo Walks Into a Bar...
A kangaroo walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds." The bartender does not know how he said this or why.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

A Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar...
A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I think I've heard this one before!"

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

A Skeleton Walks Into a Bar...
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me shot - and a mop."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

A Horse Walks Into a Bar...
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Animal Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Beauty Jokes Communication Jokes