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A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer''s barn.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer told him he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren''t, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."

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How are politicians like diapers?
You have to change them both often, and for the same reason.

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News and Politics Jokes Political Jokes Life Jokes

What would a female president's husband be called?
Bill Clinton.

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News and Politics Jokes American Presidents Humor

Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m..
Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.

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News and Politics Jokes

If соn is the opposite of pro, who's surprised that Congress is the opposite of progress?

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News and Politics Jokes One-Liner Jokes Political Jokes

Some of the finest quotes from the Honorable Marion Barry: "The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low сriме rate."
"First, it was not a sтriр bar, it was an еrотiс club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."
"Вiтсh set me up."
"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."
"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."
"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria, or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"
"People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to кill me than who want to кill the president? I can assure you there are."
"The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sасrifiсе."
"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?"
"People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? WOULD IT!?!"
"I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man."

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Q: How many racists does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: None. They don't want to be enlightened.

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News and Politics Jokes Hipster Jokes Light bulb jokes

A рrоsтiтuте on the street was approached by a young man.
He asked her how much. She replied $100 for a вlоw job, $150 for sеx, and $250 for a Monica. Knowing what the first two were he was curious about the third so he asked her what a Monica was. She replied, ''I вlоw you now and sсrеw you later.''

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News and Politics Jokes

Light Reading:
1. The Italian Book Of War Heroes
2. The Norwegian Book Of Cookery
3. The Scottish Book Of Knowledge

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News and Politics Jokes

Q: Why are politicians proof of reincarnation?
A: You just can't get that sсrеwеd up in one lifetime.

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News and Politics Jokes

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
That light bulb's never getting changed.

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School Jokes News and Politics Jokes Feminist Jokes Hipster Jokes Light bulb jokes

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb, one to call the media and publicize it, and one to blame the electric bill on the Democrats.

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News and Politics Jokes

What with all the cotton black people picked during slavery, seems like we should be able to walk in the mall, and anything that's 100% cotton, we ought to get for free.

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News and Politics Jokes

What do Saddam Hussein and Fred Flintstone have in common?
When they look out of their window, they both see rubble.

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News and Politics Jokes

On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony.
The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin."
Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."

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What do you call a beautiful girl in Russia?
A tourist.

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What did Saddam Hussein have in common with his father?
Neither knew when to pull out!

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News and Politics Jokes

A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper.
Once he was travelling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and so sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This made him not to prepare for the speech.
Annoyed by the event, the next day in the meeting, his first point towards improvement of railway department was: "There should not be last coach in any train."

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News and Politics Jokes

Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India ) goes to visit a temple on a top of Mt. Abu, where the roads are like a zig-zag.
At the starting point towards the Temple, a man tells Sardarji that it will be better to take his car in reverse to the top of Mt. Abu as there will be no space at the top to turn around up there.
So, as per the guidelines given by the man, The Sardarji, goes to the top of Mt. Abu in reverse.
After sometime the Sardarji comes down of the hill in reverse..
When the man sees him, he asks the Sardarji why he came down the hill in a reverse gear.
The Sardarji replies that he got some space at the top of the hill so he reversed his car.

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News and Politics Jokes

Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park but is better for boy to park meat in girl."

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News and Politics Jokes

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