Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)

You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.

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How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper.

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Animal Jokes

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

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Animal Jokes

Are shellfish warm?
No they re clammy.

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Animal Jokes

A guy went to a casino and lost all 10 000$.
Swearing for the situation he goes to a taxi driver and asks:
I have lost all my money, please give me a ride back home for free.
Fuck off, no money, no ride.
The next day the guys come to casino again and this time he successfully won all the money back and 10 000$ extra.
Hi goes out of the casino happily and sees five taxis, and the last car is the one, which refused to give a ride for free yesterday.
He goes to the first taxi and says:
Will you take me home for 100$
Sure!
But when you take me there you'll have to do the вlоw-job as well
Fuck off, man..
The guys goes to all next three cars and the story repeats.
Finally he goes to the last taxi driver, who refused to help a day ago, and says:
Will you take me home for 100$?
Sure!
Deal, but you have to pass through those other four taxi drivers very, very slowly.

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Money jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

The United States Army will be making a new movie...
They'll be shooting in Iraq!

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Military Jokes Political Jokes

A sеxy girl looks at the big вееr belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg?
There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?

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Men jokes Sex Jokes Beer Jokes

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes Sexist Jokes Cyclist Humor

A woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."
"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."
"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours.
I sure would like a piece of cake after though!
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"

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Office and Work Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

"Backspace key"... hiding feelings since ages.

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Technology Jokes

They were three men discussing how to make their wives to tell them if they cheated on them.
The first guy says: "I go home after work at night, lie on the couch, turn on the television and ask: 'Woman you cheated on me today!'
'Who, me my husband? Could I ever do such a thing?'
Pissed off as I am, I get up, put her down, punch her and in the end she can’t take it anymore and admits: 'I cheated on you with Nick…'"
The secong guy says: "I do exactly the same thing. I punch her and finally she says: 'I cheated on you with Jake…'"
The third guy says: "I have no problem at all. I go home, undress, put the sweat pants on, light my cigarette on, I go out to the balcony, see the neighbor spreading clothes and shout at her: 'Mary! You are a whоrе!'
And then she starts saying: 'I’m a whоrе? Or your wife who sleeps with John, Mark, Peter…!'"

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Military Jokes Cheating Jokes

Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job.
You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while.
She tells her friends, "I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom."
"Why, what's his new job?"
"He's an embalmer."

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes

Why does a реnis have a hole at the end?
So guys can be open-minded.

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Some love one,
Some love two.
I love one,
That is you.

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Funny Poems Flirt jokes Love Jokes

A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest.
The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out.
So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole.
The elephant throws his diск into the hole and the mouse climbs out.
Moral of the story: if you have a big enough diск you don't need a Porsche.

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Car and driving jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
A: He was destroying his calves.

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Animal Jokes Fitness jokes

Yo mama so dumb, she thought General Motors was in the army.

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Military Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff… church, church, church." essories for it.

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Money jokes Church jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

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