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Most Popular Jokes

Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the pоrn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," she said, "It's regular pоrn, you sick b*stard!"

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Religion jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Hotel Jokes

What goes black white black white...?
A реnguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and laughing?
The реnguin who pushed him!

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Animal Jokes

Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.

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Car and driving jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Insurance Comedy

Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?
He got himself into a real stew.

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Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won.
No Questions asked.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Yo mama so fат, when she plays hopscotch, she plays like this New York, Chicago, New Orleans, L.A.

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Fat Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

A man walked into the doctor's office and said:
"Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies:
"No you haven't."

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes

Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

About 4,000 years ago:
God:
"I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!"
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God:
"Correction, I shall create a great flood!"

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Religion jokes Money jokes God Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes Math Jokes

If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary.
You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.

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Car and driving jokes Computer Jokes Insurance Comedy

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk.
"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.
"Are you kidding?" she says.
"He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"

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Jokes about Women Sports Jokes

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!

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School Jokes

Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.

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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes

"Hi! My name is Gertrude," said the lady next to him on the plane.
"It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable.
Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day. Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone!
He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice 'Hi Grandma!' It just gets me all teary eyed."
After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much.
"You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! Tell me.. what do you think about my Grandson!"

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Old People Jokes Men jokes

Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..

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Life Jokes

Q: What do you call a group of 8 hobbits
A: Hobbyte.

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Computer Jokes Geek jokes

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.
The Pope declined.
2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again.
This time with a 50 million dollar offer.
Again the Pope declined.
A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.
At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities.
The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!

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News and Politics Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes

Yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!

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Money jokes Yo Momma Jokes

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”
His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”
The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Wedding jokes