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Latest Jokes

Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10.
And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10".
The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Math Jokes

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.

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Sports Jokes

Me: Siri, where is the best place to hide a body?
Siri: The second page of a Google search.

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Technology Jokes

"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?"
"Sure, why do you ask."
"I was going to offer you some toast."
"How kind of... I'll accept."
"Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger."
"You're right about that!"
"Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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Car and driving jokes Men jokes

When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.

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Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes

Why did the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia stay up all night? A: She was wondering if there really is a dog.

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Religion jokes

A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money.
‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk.
The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Banker Jokes

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

What do you get when a соw goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.

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Animal Jokes

What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.

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Animal Jokes

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.

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Animal Jokes

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a соw and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's соw crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.

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Animal Jokes

How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.

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Animal Jokes

What's at the end of Moby Diск?
A whale of a time.

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Animal Jokes

What's a rabbits favorite musical?
Hare.

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Animal Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Superhero Jokes

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a соw spits?
A cud thud.

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Animal Jokes

For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."

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Animal Jokes