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Latest Jokes

God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.

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God Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear

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Kids Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy.
He pushes up the seat and balances his little on the rim.
Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little Johnny lets out a scream.
His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his gеniтаls and howling.
He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles,
“K-k-k-k-kiss {sniff} it better.”
Little Johnny’s mother shouts, “Don’t start your father’s сrар with me!”

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Little Johnny Jokes

Husband: I don't know why you wear a вrа; you've got nothing to
Put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

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Marriage and Family Jokes

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a couple of hours.

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Money jokes

What does a Mexican order at Starbucks? Cap-a-Chino!

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Nationality Jokes

You momma is so big that I still remember the day I was looking at the news and all animal rescuers were trying to return that "blue whale" that was sleep on the sand back in to the ocean.

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News and Politics Jokes Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Girl: How was your lunch?
Guy: How was your lunch?
Girl: No im asking you.
Guy: No im asking you.
Girl: Are you copying off me!?
Guy: Are you copying off me!?
Girl: Lets go shopping!
Guy: Lunch was great.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes

Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Superhero Jokes

Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10.
And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10".
The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Math Jokes

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.

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Sports Jokes

Me: Siri, where is the best place to hide a body?
Siri: The second page of a Google search.

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Technology Jokes

"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?"
"Sure, why do you ask."
"I was going to offer you some toast."
"How kind of... I'll accept."
"Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger."
"You're right about that!"
"Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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Car and driving jokes Men jokes

When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.

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Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes

Why did the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia stay up all night? A: She was wondering if there really is a dog.

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Religion jokes

A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money.
‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk.
The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Banker Jokes

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

What do you get when a соw goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.

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Animal Jokes