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Latest Jokes

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons.
If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

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Star Wars Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

The mouse is referred to as a ‘little вuggеr’.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

First friend:
"I am getting so tired of having to wade through so much Spam e-mail. Every time I sign on to get my e-mail I have to discard 20 Spam messages."
Second friend:
"I used to be in exactly the same situation: 20 Spam messages every time I signed on. But I solved that. Now I only get ONE every time I sign on."
First friend:
"That's terrific. How did you do that?"
Second friend:
"I sign on 20 times more."

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Computer Jokes Friendship Jokes

The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris.
It failed.
Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.

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Why did the lumber truck stop?
To let the lumber jack off.

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Dirty jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Becuase the "P" is silent.

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Animal Jokes

Why did adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Gynecology Jokes

Your moma is so ugly... She could make medicine sick!

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes

Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite.
Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Superhero Jokes

God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.

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God Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear

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Kids Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy.
He pushes up the seat and balances his little on the rim.
Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little Johnny lets out a scream.
His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his gеniтаls and howling.
He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles,
“K-k-k-k-kiss {sniff} it better.”
Little Johnny’s mother shouts, “Don’t start your father’s сrар with me!”

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Little Johnny Jokes

Husband: I don't know why you wear a вrа; you've got nothing to
Put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

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Marriage and Family Jokes

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a couple of hours.

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Money jokes

What does a Mexican order at Starbucks? Cap-a-Chino!

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Nationality Jokes

You momma is so big that I still remember the day I was looking at the news and all animal rescuers were trying to return that "blue whale" that was sleep on the sand back in to the ocean.

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News and Politics Jokes Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Girl: How was your lunch?
Guy: How was your lunch?
Girl: No im asking you.
Guy: No im asking you.
Girl: Are you copying off me!?
Guy: Are you copying off me!?
Girl: Lets go shopping!
Guy: Lunch was great.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes

Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Superhero Jokes