Latest Jokes

How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men) ----------- He does not have a вееr gut... He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys) He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys) ----------- He is not quiet... He is a Conversational Minimalist. He is a SAMS grad. ----------- He is not sтuрid... He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development. He is a field grade. ----------- He does not get lost all the time... He discovers Alternative Destinations. He gets temporarily misoriented. ----------- He is not balding... He is in Follicle Regression. He has a REALLY squared away high and tight. ----------- He is not a cradle robber... He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships. He is breaking the new fraternization policies. ----------- He does not get falling-down drunк... He becomes Accidentally Horizontal. He practices his IMTs in the club. ----------- He is not short... He is Anatomically Compact. He suffers from a Napoleon Complex. ----------- He does not have a rich daddy... He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion. He has the Army as a hobby. ----------- He does not constantly talk about cars... He has a Vehicular Addiction. He must be a Transporter. ----------- He does not have a hot body... He is Physically Combustible. He is a PT stud. ----------- He is not unsophisticated... He is Socially Challenged. He is a Ranger. ----------- He does not eat like a pig... He suffers from Reverse Bulimia. He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut. ----------- He is not a bad dancer... He is Overly Caucasian. He is from the Muddy Boots Army. ----------- He does not hog the blankets... He is Thermally Unappreciative. He is a Blue Falcon. ----------- He is not a male chauvinist pig... He has Swinе Empathy. He must be combat arms. ----------- He is not afraid of commitment... He is Monogamously Challenged. He loves TDY.
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes
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Warning Signs of Insanity for Programmers.
1. You stay up all night coding only to realize that you haven't had any caffeine in about 6 hours.
2. You wonder why on earth anyone would make a programming language conform to such absolutely bizarre rules of grammar but in a strange way it actually begins to make sense.
3. You start dreaming in recursion (if you have any time to dream).
4. You realize not only is it daytime but your project is due in 2 hours, which isn't enough time to even begin running it.
5. You start customizing your environment because you want it "just right" (and because further work on the program is futile).
6. You wonder when the invasion will begin.
7. You understand #8.
8. You start signing your name in octal (or binary) just because.
9. You know more programming commands than actual words.
10. You realize that you have reached the end, and there is no closing command.
Office and Work Jokes Programmer Jokes
One night there was three fugitives escaping from jail. One was blonde, one was brunette and the other was a red-head. They had the police hot on their trail and quickly thinking the brunette points out an old, abandoned factory perfect for hiding in. When all three were inside the red-head, quickly thinking said they should all hid in old potatoe sacks in the corner as they could hear the police approaching the factory. They all got in their little potatoe sacks and barely a minute later the police came crashing through the door. They looked at the sacks and said 'Hmm maybe they are hiding in these' The officer kicks the Red-head's sack and she makes whimpering noises. 'Hmm just puppies in that sack' The officer kicks the Brunette's sack and she makes mewing noises. 'Hmm just kittens in that sack' He says. He finally kicks the blonde's sack and he hears.... 'POTATOES POTATOES!'
Blonde Jokes