Newest jokes

What did the toilet roll complain about?
"People just keep ripping me off!"

0

0

One pen pal to another, “Can you tell me what you look like?”
“Do you know Beyonce?”
“Yes!”
“So, not like that.”

0

0

Why didn’t the dinosaur cross the road?
Because there weren't even any roads during the Jurassic Period!

0

0

Mommy says to little Johnny, “Why are you sticking out your tongue at the dog? It’s not nice.”
Little Johnny says, “But the dog started it.”

0

0

Jokes about Dogs | Good jokes

“Dad, I got my smarts from you, didn’t I?”
“That’s right my clever boy!”
“Yup, thought so, mom still has hers.”

0

0

When can you be sure a snail is lying to you?
When he says he’s not home.

0

0

At school:
Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here.
Teacher: How come?
Johnny: I ate my exercise books.
Teacher: What?! Why would you do such a thing?!
Johnny: The dog refused to.

0

0

School Jokes | Little Johnny | Jokes about Dogs

Why was Little Johnny crying?
He put some of his mum’s cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger.

0

0

Salt meets pepper on a plate and says, “I’m feeling all scattered today.”

0

0

How do monsters prefer their eggs?
Terrifried.

0

0

A boy ate some coins for fun and his parents took him to the hospital. One hour later the parents asked the nurse how it was going. Apparently, “no change yet.”

0

0

Will sell broken marionettes. No strings attached.

0

0

Sure, I drink brake fluid. But I can stop anytime, no problem!

0

0

Why did Billy throw his pocket watch out of the window?
Because he heard his parents saying that time flies.

0

0

What would you call a female magician in the desert?
A sandwich."

0

0

It suскs working from home today.
Peter (52), Fireman

0

0

What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?
Finds the nearest skyscraper.

0

0

This may come across as cheesy - but I think you’re grate.

0

0