American Presidents

What does Monica and Bill Clinton have in common…They both did not inhale.

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Anant was in the army. During the war with Pakistan, Anant used his
intelligence to кill many Pakistani soldiers. He would hide behind the
bushes and shout Pakistani names like - Imran Khan etc. and the soldier
named Imran Khan would get up to say 'I am here !' Then Anant would shoot him down. This went on till Anant almost wiped out all the soldiers single handedly!
Suddenly the Pakistani commander realized that Anant was killing all his soldiers by fooling them. So he decides to use Anant's own method to кill him and starts calling him names like Anant etc.
Anant realizing that the Pakistani was using his trick,
suddenly says 'Who called me ?' and the Commander gets up to say 'I called you.'
Anant shoots him also down!

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Military Jokes Single People Jokes American Presidents Humor

How’s Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? – Juan by Juan.

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Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any mexicans.

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Donald Trump Jokes American Presidents Humor

Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn’t have papers.

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Donald Trump Jokes American Presidents Humor

Hillary Clinton would make a good president

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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says “buy me a drink”. She’s replies angrily “ get ur own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink.” Trump responds “the kind that will grab you by the p***y”.

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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

TO MY WIFE: My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.

TO MY BANKER: My soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.

TO MY NEIGHBOR: My clown suit. He'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.

TO THE ASCS: My grain bin. I was planning to let them take it next year anyway.

TO THE FARM ADVISER: 50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market. I never did.

TO THE JUNK MAN: All my machinery. He's had his eye on it for years.

TO MY UNDERTAKER: A special request. I want six implement and fertilizer dealers for my pallbearers. They're used to carrying me.

TO THE WEATHERMAN: Rain, sleet and snow for the funeral please. No sense having good weather now.

TO THE GRAVEDIGGER: Don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big enough.

TO THE MONUMENT MAKER: For the epitaph:
"Here lies a farmer who has now properly assumed all of his obligations."

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Men jokes Farmer Jokes Banker Jokes American Presidents Humor

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It’s been awhile since the last presidential assassination…

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US Election Jokes American Presidents Humor

A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says “that is mother teresa’s clock it has never moved because she has never lied”. “There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice.” “Where is Donald Trump’s?” Ask’s the man. Jesus answers “it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fаn.”

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Donald Trump Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes American Presidents Humor

What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.

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Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. – He wants to make America grate again.

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Food Jokes Donald Trump Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes Cheese jokes American Presidents Humor

At a Whitehouse party for past presidents.
Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha.
Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Political Jokes Ugly Jokes American Presidents Humor

Trump says to Obama “you know it’s the White House not the black house right?” And Obama says “yeah but it isn’t the orange house either.

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Donald Trump Jokes American Presidents Humor

Herds of elephants from all over Africa were summoned to a meeting in the jungle, as their national leader took his place on the stage, one of the African elephants trumpeted impatiently: “Come on, tell us what this is all about. We’re all ears.”

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Nationality Jokes Animal Jokes Africa Jokes American Presidents Humor

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? – America.

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Donald Trump Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing nакеd in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a nакеd lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes American Presidents Humor

How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall? – They’ll get over it.

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Donald Trump Jokes American Presidents Humor

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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US Election Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor

There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"

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Political Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Aviation Jokes Stupid Jokes Pilot Jokes American Presidents Humor