Blonde Jokes - Page 48

A blonde got stuck in a snowstorm and started to panic. Then she remembered that her father had told her to wait for a snow plow to come and plow the road in front of her if she ever got stuck in a snowstorm. Then follow the plow to safety. So she waited until a snow plow finally came, and she followed it. After about an hour and a half the guy driving the snow plow stopped and asked the blonde what she was doing. She told him what her father told her. He shrugged his shoulders and said "Well, okay, I'm done with K-Mart's parking lot, would you like to follow me to Sears?"

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Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.

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Blonde Jokes Food Jokes Stupid Jokes Coffee Jokes

What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

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Baby Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...

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Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Veterinarian Jokes

Q: Why are two blonde girls fighting on a motorcycle?
A: They are fighting because they both want to sit next to the window.

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Blonde Jokes

Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.
They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.
As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.
One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."
The other said:
"What do you think I am, sтuрid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"

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Blonde Jokes Mexican jokes Police Officer Jokes

Doctor to a blonde patient: Don't breathe.

Patient: Why doctor? Did you fаrт?

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde was sitting in economy class... on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.

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Aviation Jokes Blonde Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends.
One night, they both died in a terrible car accident.
When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere.
Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!"
St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven."
This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time.
St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hеll with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.
John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?"
"My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of вееr? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"

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Friendship Jokes Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Beer Jokes

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What does a blonde say if you вlоw in his/her ear?
A:
"Thanks for the refill!"

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Blonde Jokes

A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Were you ever a Blonde?"
"Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?" The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

A policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration.
Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.”
“Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it.
While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his соск out.
Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up.
A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”

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Sports Jokes Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes

I walked into my grandparents house today and caught my grandad shаgging a young blonde woman on the sofa.
“Fсuкing hеll grandad,” I said, “You promised me that you’d spend your retirement money on the surgery that you desperately needed.”
“I did,” he replied, “Doesn’t your nan look great!?”

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Retirement Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Blonde Jokes Old People Jokes

A blonde was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag.
She ran into one of her friends.
Her friend asked, "Hey! What do you have in the bag?"
She tells her friend that she has some fish in the bag.
The friend says, "Fish! Well, I'll make you a bet.If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one."
The blonde says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."

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Friendship Jokes Blonde Jokes

A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing.
The police arrive and ask for a description.
She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him.
The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her.
He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face."
The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.
She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"

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Police Officer Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Love Jokes

A blonde goes horse back riding. It starts out slow, but then it starts to gallop. The blonde is enjoying herself. All of a sudden she slips off and her foot gets caught in the reins. The horse doesn't stop and the blonde is still being dragged upside down. She doesn't know what to do. Finally the Wal-Mart manager comes and unplugs it.

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Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes

Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles.
One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away.
The other blonde asks what he's doing.
"Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones."
"No, sтuрid! Those are for the other side of the roof."

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Blonde Jokes

An irish blonde lady went to the doctor, complaining that the Pill kept falling off.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes