Blonde Jokes

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An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor’s office.
“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”
“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.
“Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”
“Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.”
A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever.
“Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”
“I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”
“That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!
News and Politics Jokes Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Dog jokes
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds” . . . think hard before giving me a sтuрid answer.”
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.
Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter's finger? A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: What does Jeffrey Dahmer's victims and The Clintons' hair styles have in common? A: They both look like the work of a butcher.
Q: If The Clinton's were younger, do you think they would have known the Clampents? A: Possibly, Bill might have made Jethro's acquaintance in the 6th grade.
Q: Why doesn't Hillary cut Bill's hair? A: He won't pay her $300.
Q: What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton? A: His face.
Q: What is the Arkansas state flower? A: Gennifer.
Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours? A: Put Janet Reno in charge.
Q: What's the difference between a Bill Clinton and a carp? A: One's a sсuм suскing bottom feeder and the other's a fish.
Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesn't carry a briefcase.
Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to hurt you"? A:"Trust me."
Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a соw? A: By the wise look in the eyes.
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He's the stiff one.
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None--He'll only promise "change."
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they can't afford any more pork.
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: They've been having turkey for years.
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because Clinton "invested" all the turkey.
Q: What were Bill and Chelsea Clinton doing in the voting booth? A: Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in Civics, how to ruin the people!
Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.
Q: What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee--If No Recovery!
Q: How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet? A: They were dating the same girl in high school.
Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying? A: Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to know the answer to this one.
Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face? A: If his lips are moving, then he's lying.
Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common? A: Neither one is very bright.
Q: What does Clinton do to lose weight? A: Runs away from the draft.
Q: How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]? A: He's got his jogging suit on.
Q: What's Clinton's favorite baseball team? A: The Dodgers.
Q: What's Bill's fondest wish now? A: That someone would wave a hand at him using more than one finger.
Q: What's a Clinton sandwich? A: Pure bologna piled high and deep.
Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1? A: For spare parts.
Q: Did you hear that the Clinton's had Air Force 1 remodeled? A: Now it's got two left wings.
Q: Why is Bill Clinton called "middle of the road Democrat"? A: Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back.
Q: Why is Bill Clinton's economic plan called positively atheist? A: Because it hasn't got a prayer.
Q: If Bill and Hillary jumped together off the Washington monument, who'd land first? A: Who cares!
Q: How did Bill Clinton get a crick in his neck? A: Trying to save both faces.
Q: If Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized, who would be saved? A: The United States of America!
Q: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? A: Because when his term is through, he won't be going to school.
Q: Why does Chelsea look so sтuрid and ugly? A: Heredity.
Q: Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school? A: If they sent her to a public school, the secret service would be out-gunned!
Q: What do Clinton and JFK have in common? A: They haven't had any brains for the last thirty years.
Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone? A: He turned into Hillary!
Q: Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to commemorate President Clinton's election? A: It's gonna be called the Dodge Drafter!
Q: Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely? A: Because if something happens to her, Bill becomes President!
Q: How many Clinton administration officials does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb? A: Two--one to sсrеw the bulb into the water faucet while the other tells us that everything possible is being done to help the situation.
Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes? A: None. The democrats do that.
Q: How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can enforce totalitarianistic and unconstitutional laws? A: None. The Sociali--Democrats do that.
Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They like to keep him in the dark!
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Q: What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in? A: A noose.
Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in? A: Handcuffs.
Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia.
Q: What's the best place to photograph Clinton Administration officials? A: A police lineup.
Q: What's a conservative? A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.
Q: What is a conservative? A: A liberal who's been mugged.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician? A: Chelsea.
Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is, don't you? A: They get elected.
Q: What famous Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas, is she still your cousin?
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control.
Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To tax the chicken.
Q: Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics? A: Because Bill Clinton has no character to defame.
Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury? A: When he's sworn in.
Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf? A: Depends on how many were photographed.
Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To meet the chick.
Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.
Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore? A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.
Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two.
Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!
Q: How does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?A: He doesn't. He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern.
Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane?A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night.
Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke? A: "You idiот! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!
Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America? A: "Never! I'm not going to let my wife run the country!!"
Q: Why doesn't Bill like old houses? A: He's afraid of the draft.
Q: What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant? A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh? A: Koresh only burned 85 people.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh? A: Some people still believe in David Koresh.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.
Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Q: What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver? A: The bus driver stops to let the kids out.
Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House? A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.
Q: When will there be a woman in the White House? A: When Hillary leaves town.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a container of yogurt? A: Yogurt has culture.
Q: What is the best thing that ever came out of Arkansas? A: Highway 55.
Q: Why does Clinton always have a sтuрid grin on his face? A: He is sтuрid!
Q: Why is Clinton prone to losing his voice? A: He keeps having to eat his words.
Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding.
Q: How does Al Gore spell potato? A: T-A-T-E-R.
Q: Why is Chelsea growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president's spouse, Bill Clinton.
Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.
Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents? A: He's the stiff one.
Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life? A: Grade six.
Q: If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get? A: Coffee.
Q: What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect? A: Everything's $100.
Q: What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow? A: To study economics.
Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.
Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school? A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.
Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling.
Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin? A: So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.
Q: What does Clinton have in common with his Hollywood pals? A: They all make a living by lying to people.
Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown? A: The punch lines were too long in Jonestown.
Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common? A: They were both cooked by a guy named "Dave".
Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President? A: A competent liberal President.
Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up? A: "Good morning, Bill."
Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years? A: Unite the Republican Party.
Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb? A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.
Q: When did Clinton's friends become sure that he had political ambitions? A: When he married outside of his family.
Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents? A: Absolutely nothing.
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army.
Q: Why did the IRS recently audit Bill Clinton? A: Because he filed as head of the household.
Q: How is Clinton's health care reform a lot like his haircut? A: It is a lot more expensive than it looks.
Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax? A: Because they could spell it.
Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar.
Q: Why aren't Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House? A: There is White-out on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers? A: There is writing on the White-out.
Q: What is the difference between an intelligent liberal and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: How is Bill Clinton like a passive-restraint device? A: He is a bag of air that is not on the driver's side.
Q: How is Bill like a character actor? A: When he shows character, he's acting.
Q: What is Hillary's favorite holiday? A: Summer Solstice.
Q: What do you get when you give Bill Clinton a penny for his thoughts? A: Change.
Q: What do you get when you cross Bill Clinton with a gorilla? A: Who knows? There is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
Q: What is Clinton's favorite war song? A: "Over Here"
Q: What costume did Bill Clinton wear to a Halloween party that scared everyone to death? A: He came dressed as a two-term president.
Q: Why is Perot's wife glad he didn't get elected? A: If he won, they would have to move to a smaller house in a bad neighborhood.
Q: What is the difference between liberalism and socialism? A: Socialism is dead.
Q: What is the difference between Clinton's health care plan and a kidney stone? A: A kidney stone is easier to pass.
Q: What is the difference between Нiтlеr and Bill Clinton? A: Нiтlеr intended to deliver on his speeches.
Q: What is the difference between the U.S. and the former USSR? A: The U.S. still has a Communist Party in power.
Q: What does Clinton need to stop the white water? A: A water gate.
Q: Why are they renaming Arkansas Highway 50 the "Bill Clinton Highway?" A: The road is crooked, slick, and has a yellow stripe down the middle.
Q: What do Hillary Clinton and the Dallas Cowboys have in common? A: They both dominate Bills.
Q: What is the difference between TV characters Dan and Roseanne Conner and the Clintons? A: The Conners own their own home.
Q: What is the difference between Whitewater and Watergate? A: No one died in Watergate.
Q: What is Hillary's new nickname after her latest hairstyle? A: Oldielocks.
Q: What are the administration's favorite words in foreign policy? A: We have not ruled out military force.
Q: What would one get with a donation to Rostenkowski's legal fund? A: A free stamp.
Q: Why are staff cuts so difficult for Clinton? A: He can't give a woman a pink slip without asking her to try it on first.
Q: Which of the following does not belong: AIDS, gonorrhea, hеrреs, or Bill Clinton? A: Gonorrhea--it can be cured.
Q: Why was Roger Clinton's wedding delayed 5 days? A: The bride's father had to wait 5 days to buy the shotgun.
Q: How are Congressmen and baseball players alike? A: They are millionaires who work 3 hours a day and left in August not finishing what they had started.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Atlantic? A: To attend D-Day celebrations.
Q: What do you get when you cross Bill Clinton and James Dean? A: A man without a clue.
Q: How did we know long before the Haiti invasion that Clinton was planning to go to war? A: He visited Oxford.
Q: How is Bill Clinton like an unemployed school teacher? A: No class and no principals.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a pickpocket? A: A pickpocket snatches watches.
Q: What does Hillary have in common with the city of Buffalo? A: They both have Bills that are losers.
Q: Why does the Clinton administration want to reinvent government? A: They are having a lot of trouble dealing with the existing form...democracy.
Q: Who should Clinton have used to overthrow Haiti's military? A: John Elway.
Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East? A: He thinks the Gaza Sтriр is a торlеss bar.
Q: Why does Hillary think her husband is a model president? A: Because a model is a small imitation of the real thing.
Q: What does Hillary Clinton have in common with Gerald Ford? A: They both became president without being elected.
Q: What's the difference between the Waco ATF and Bill Clinton? A: BIll Clinton burned 260,000,000 people.
Q: What do call someone who sees the glass in front of him half full? A: An optimist.
Q: Well, then what do you call someone who sees the glass in front of him as half empty? A: Teddy Kennedy.
Q: What did Teddy Kennedy say when he heard of JFK's assassination? A: He couldn't have been shot in the temple! We're not Jewish!
Q: Why did Ted Kennedy spend four hours in the voting booth? A: He thought he was in a confessional.
Q: Why did the Clintons switch from MCI to AT&T? A: They didn't have enough friends left to make a calling circle.
Q: What's the difference between President Hoover and Clinton? A: One promised a chicken in every рот and the other was an unpromising chicken who smoked рот.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from Bill Clinton.
Q: What's the difference between Clinton and Christopher Reeve? A: Clinton is dead from the neck up.
Q: Where are the two biggest airbags located? A: The White House.
Q: Who was the first liberal Democrat? A: Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been, and did it all on borrowed money.
Q: Did you hear that someone threw a bottle of вееr at Clinton? A: Yes, but it's ok. It was a Draft and he was able to dodge it.
Q: What's Bill Clinton's least expensive hobby? A: To sit in the Oval Office and collect dust.
Q: Did you hear that Tyson Foods has genetically engineered a new breed of chicken and named it in honor of Bill Clinton? A: It's a brainless, spineless, tar-and-feathers yellow chicken.
Q: Why is Bill Clinton the living proof of reincarnation? A: Because no one could get this sтuрid in one lifetime.
Q: Do you know why Clinton gave the Federal employees the day off on Wednesday? A: It was Secretaries' Day and he was too cheap to buy his a present!
Q: What's a word for Clintons '92 campaign A: A snow job.
Q: What will you get if Clinton's health bill passes? A: No Job.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb? A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!
Q: What's the best job a dumb blonde ever had? A: Vice-president of the United States.
Q: Have you heard about the new Bill Clinton doll? A: You pull a little ring and it never tells the same story twice!
Q: What do Hillary Clinton and Marie Antoinette have in common? A: Nothing . . . yet.
Q: Why does Hillary Clinton often wear turtle necks when attending Bill's speaking engagements? A: So you can't see her adam's apple move as he speaks.
Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.
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Плавуша во казино Καζίνο. Влиза красива блондинка в казино, слага 20000 евро на едно число и казва на мъжете около масата: Казино... Ранно утро. Засукана мацка приближава към рулетката: Two croupiers are sitting bored at the roulette of THE CASINO. Eine Blondine geht ins Spielkasino. Dort angekommen verkündet sie, dass sie ihr ganzes Geld auf eine Zahl setzen wird. Zu den zwei verantwortlichen Angestellten sagt sie, während die Kugel ins Spiel kommt: "Ich glaube nicht, dass es euch interessiert, aber ich habe mehr Glück, wenn ich... Згодна надарена плавуша влегува во казино, вади 10.000 евра и им вели на мажите околу масата: - Се надевам дека нема да ви смета ако се соблечам гола, така имам повеќе среќа. Мажите се согласиле, таа се соблекла, ги фрлила коцките и вели: - Ајде коцкички, ајде, ми требаат нови алишта. Коцките... Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady walked in and asked if they minded if she bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.... Iki gazino krupyesi canlari sikkin, rulet masasi basinda musteri bekliyorlardi. Bu sirada cazibeli bir sarisin elinde USD 20.000 lik fisle masaya dogru yaklasti ve - "Pardon oynayabilir miyiz?"... Muito bonita e gostosa, a loira entra pela porta do cassino. Vai ao caixa, troca cinco mil dólares por fichas e segue para mesa da roleta. Para espanto de todos que estavam jogando, ela avisa que... Een knappe blonde vrouw, met alles erop en eraan, wandelt een casino binnen en loopt recht naar de tafel waar gedobbeld wordt. Ze legt € 10.000 op tafel en zet alles meteen in op de 8. De twee... Une séduisante blonde arrive dans un casino à Las Vegas. Un petit peu éméchée, elle mise 20 000 dollars sur une face du dé. Elle ajoute en suivant : « J’espère que cela ne vous dérange pas, mais je... Eine atemberaubende Blondine betritt das Casino. Sie kauft sich Jetons und geht zum Roulette-Tisch. Dort angekommen fragt sie die Croupiers: „Darf ich mich ausziehen? Wenn ich nackt spiele, gewinne... Dwaj znudzeni krupierzy siedzieli przy stole z ruletką gdy do kasyna weszła bardzo atrakcyjna blondynka. Podeszła do stołu i zadeklarowała zakład na 20 tys. dolarów na konkretną liczbę. Zaraz... Twee verveelde casino dealers zitten te wachten aan de dobbel tafel. Op dat moment komt er een prachtige blonde vrouw aan lopen en zet twintig duizend euro in op een enkele rol. Ze zegt: "Ik hoop... Twee croupiers in het casino kijken verveeld voor zich uit. Plotseling komt er een hele mooie vrouw aan, die haar geluk wil beproeven met de dobbelstenen. Ze wil 20.000 euro inzetten, met een... GAZİNODA iki görevli sıkıntıdan patlamış bir şekilde rulet masasında Dikiliyorlarmış… Derken içeri fıstık gibi bir sarışın girmiş, masaya 10 bin dolar koymuş Veee; ? "Baylar, umarım sizin için... Det var på ett kasino, mitt i natten. Kvar vid ett spelbord satt två män och en kvinna. En välsvarvad snygg blondin. - Jag känner på mig att jag har tur ikväll, sa kvinnan, jag satsar 500 000... Se duce o blonda la cazino si zice: - Vreau sa pariez pe 2 numere, dar ca sa castig trebuie sa ma dezbrac. Toti sunt de acord, se dezbraca si arunca zarurile. - Am castigat, am castigat,incepe sa... Een knap blondje loopt een casino binnen in Vegas. Ze gaat naar een van de roulettetafels en zegt tegen de twee mannen die er staan: "Ik zou graag alles of niets spelen. 20.000 $ voor één worp." De...
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Finally, it was Ned the Mailman’s last day.
As he did his final rounds, he reached the door of the first house and was greeted by a elderly couple who gave him a gift certificate. At the next house, the entire family gave him a set of fishing lures, and at the third house he received a box of fine cigars.
But at the next house he was greeted by a sеxy blonde wearing a skimpy negligee. Without a word, she signaled him to come inside. She gently took him upstairs and proceeded to make mad passionate love to him. Ned certainly didn’t mind.
She then led him downstairs where she made him a huge breakfast of toast, sausage, eggs and hashbrowns. Ned was truly satisfied. As he leaned forward to get his second cup of coffee, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup.
Curious, he asks the blonde, ”This is all wonderful and I appreciate everything…but…what’s the dollar for?”
“Oh,” says the blonde, “I asked my husband last night what we should give you for your retirement. He said ‘Sсrеw him! give him a dollar!”
She beamed at him. “The breakfast part was my idea! ”
Среќен поштар Retiring Mailman Το φιλοδώρημα. Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route. It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate... One by one the dustmen lined up to shag the blonde at No.25. Finally it's the turn of the driver and the blonde hands him a tenner. "Merry Christmas" she says. "What's this?" he says "you didn't give my mates a tenner." "No" she explained, "it was my husbands idea. When I asked him what we... Listonosz przechodzi na emeryturę. Wszyscy z okolicznych domów postanowili, że będzie on po raz ostatni chodził od domu do domu i tym razem tylko odbierał prezenty za swoją wieloletnią pracę. Puka do pierwszych drzwi... dostaje wspaniałe wyposażenie wędkarskie... promienieje z radości. Puka do... Een postbode gaat met pensioen en krijgt tijdens zijn laatste ronde van veel mensen een afscheidscadeautje ( een fles cognac of bloemen ). Plots komt hij bij een jonge dame en die sleurt hem naar... Após 35 anos de trabalho, chegou o último dia de Moacir como carteiro. Na primeira casa de sua rota foi recebido com aplausos e presenteado com uma linda camisa. Na segunda, recebeu de presente uma... Az öreg postás már 35 éve hordta ki a küldeményeket nap, mint nap, hóban és szélben éppúgy, mint a legnagyobb forróságban. Lassan elérte a nyugdíj korhatárt, és azok az emberek, akik ismerték és... I'm a mailman. At Christmas this year, Mrs. Jankowitz met me at the door and invited me in for a great breakfast spread. After I ate, I thanked her and she said, "There's more." She took me to her...
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A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.
After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, “Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish.
But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be suскеd into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!”
The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, “I think I’m the most beautiful of us three” and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.
The redhead stepped up and said “I think I’m the most talented of us three” and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands.
Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, “I think…” and was promptly suскеd into the mirror.
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A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York.
When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry.
Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat."
The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat."
The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response.
The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde.
The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach.
The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move.
He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!' The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!' Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist-deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'Dаrn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!'
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Uncle Tommy's Closet Ao chegar mais cedo em casa o marido encontra a mulher nua, deitada na cama e respirando ofegantemente. Un tipo llega a su casa inesperadamente y encuentra a su mujer en la cama, desnuda y Sudorosa.. - Mujer, ¿qué te pasa? - Tengo un ataque al corazón, dice ella con voz entrecortada. - Quédate...
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