Blonde Jokes - Page 71

How can you tell if a fax came from a blonde?
It has a stamp on it.
Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their shoes?
Toes go in first.
Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
Did you hear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
What is every blonde's ambition in life?
To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde asks a bypasser:
Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is?
It's on the other side.
Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde comes to a doctor and complains:
Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts...
I know what has happened to you.
And what?
You've broken your finger.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes

There were two blonds on their way to Disney World.
When they were getting close there was a sign that read, “DISNEY WORLD LEFT,”
So they turned around and went home.

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Blonde Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask,
"Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?"
And the blonde says,
"Because im trying to commit suicide."
I ask,
"Why don't you just tie it around your neck?"
She says,
"I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."

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Blonde Jokes

Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Because there are blonde men too!

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes Men jokes

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.”
The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.”
The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes

A blonde was with her husband shopping and she decided that they would shop in different parts of the mall. They meet in the middle 2 hours later and she announces, "I just got kids." The husband stares amazed, looking at the kids he says,
"Those are 2 baby goats!" Submitted by bomberman255 Edited by Calamjo, Curtis and yisman

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Blonde Jokes

Why was the blonde's steering wheel covered with lipstick? She was trying to вlоw the horn. Submitted by Curtis Submitted by Calamjo

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:
"How many D's are there in "INDIANA JONES"
"? The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One".
The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.
The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end:
"How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES"? She immediately says "One". The interviewer says,
"OK, we'll let you know".
Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked:
"How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES"
. She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering:
"2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm - wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"
After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer:
"Thirty two"
The interviewer is stunned and asks her:
"Ok, now tell me, how the hеll did you arrive at this answer?"
She starts singing "Da Da Dah Dahhh Dah Dah Da Da Dah Dahh Dah Dah ..."
(The theme song for Indiana Jones)

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Blonde Jokes

How do blonde braincells die?
Alone.
How do you brainwash a blonde?
Give her a dоuсhе and shake her upside down.
How do you change a blonde's mind?
Blow in her ear.
How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
How does a blonde кill a fish?
She drowns it.
A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

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Blonde Jokes

There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck.
And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.

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Blonde Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest тiтs?
The blonde.... She's 18.

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School Jokes Blonde Jokes Boob Jokes

What does a blonde use for protection during sеx?
A bus shelter.

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked,
"Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Phone jokes

A blonde was headed to Detroit.
She got on the plane and sat down in first class.
A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat.
She refused.
The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class."
The flight attendent was getting frustrated.
Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move.
Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?"
The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."

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Blonde Jokes

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our four engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "Our number two engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "Our number three engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "I hope that fourth engine keeps working, or we'll be up here all day!"

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Blonde Jokes

Mother talking to her blonde daughter:
At the age of ten:
Honey, you are too young to play with big boys!
At the age of thirty:
You are too big to play with young boys, honey!

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes