Computer Jokes

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Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared.
And that's the story.

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Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!

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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.

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99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.

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If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!

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Bill Gates dies and goes to God.
God says to him:
Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want.
God shoes Bill that in hеll there are lots of nакеd chicks and beaches.
So he chooses hеll.
After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there.
Bill says:
No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me?
Oh that! That was just a screen saver.

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Microsoft and Bill Gates Jokes God Jokes Computer Jokes

Q: What is a computer's first sign of old age?
A: Loss of memory.

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Computer Jokes

Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.

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Computer Jokes Men jokes

How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

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There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.

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How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider

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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

What is a cursor?
Someone having computer problems.

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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.

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April Fools' Jokes Computer Jokes

"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."

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Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the sтuрid, sтuрid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy соw.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!

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Computer Jokes Stupid Jokes

I dont understand why people say sеx is good in the shower.
How do you guys not get your laptop wet?

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A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’

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Only 3 things that are infinite
1.Human Stupidity
2.Universe
3.WinRar Trial

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Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data

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Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

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