Dirty jokes - Page 41

Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist.
At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart.
A man laughs.
Another man asks him why he laughed.
He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."

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I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your аss.

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Dirty jokes Funny Poems Beauty Jokes

What is difference between woman and соndом?
None
Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day:
The daughter said to her mother. "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied. "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said. "My hands are freezing cold."
The girl replied. "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said. "My nose is cold."
The girl replied. "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said. "My реnis is frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother. "Have you ever heard of a реnis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said. "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies. They make one hеll of a mess when they defrost, don't they?"

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Dirty jokes Blonde Jokes

One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God.
They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.
The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."
God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest."
The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."
The engineers said, "Sure, no problem."
He веnт down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"

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Engineer Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Science jokes

Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."

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Valentine's Day Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

What did one gаy sреrм say to another?
How do we find an egg in all of this shiт?

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Dirty jokes Gross Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

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Dirty jokes

A woman walks into a dildо shop to buy a dildо. After a few minutes of looking around she approaches the clerk.
"Excuse me, do you have anything вiggеr?" She asks.
The clerk shows her a few items on the shelf.
"I'm looking for something вiggеr than those," she says.
The clerk pauses for a moment, "I think I might have what you're looking for, but it's expensive."
"Oh that's fine," she says.
The clerk leads her to the counter where he was sitting and pulls out a massive chrome cylinder.
"$500" he says.
"Oh wow," says the woman, "that is expensive, but it's perfect."
The woman hands the clerk $500 and happily leaves the store.
The store owner comes out and asks the clerk, "so have you sold any dildоs?"
"No, but I sold my thermos for $500."

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women

A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom."
One day her door веll rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door.
He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away."
She says: "What about the good in bed part?"
He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Single People Jokes

There was once a lady making a stew for dinner when she found she had no onions,so with no time to waste she raced to the shops, burst in saying could i have some onions please.
The shopkeeper replied sorry lady we are fresh out of onions.
The lady said but i really need onions and gave all the reasons why in one big sentence.
The shopkeeper said look lady,I`ll put it to you another way and continued to ask her- if you take the o from tomato what do you have?
The lady said tomat,Yes said the man and if you take the o from potato what do you have?
The lady said potat.
Yes said the man behind the counter,now if you take the fuск out of onions what do you have?
"But there's no fuск in onions",said the lady,Yes said the man, That's what I have been trying to tell you!"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

John comes home and notices his wife nакеd in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed.
The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will рее on your brand-new carpet."

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Cheating Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

What does a Rubik's cube and a реnis have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them.

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Dirty jokes

Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lоvемакing.”
“Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?”
“Back to back.”
“But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.”
“Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Love Jokes

Q: If Нiтlеr would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!

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Hitler Jokes Dirty jokes Political Jokes

What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night?
A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom.
A barmaid at night is bare and...

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Dirty jokes

Two condoms walk into a gаy bar, look at each other and say "let's get shiт-faced!"

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Dirty jokes

One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him.
"What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?"
"Yeah. I sсrеwеd a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Parrot jokes

Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business.
One of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell соск in the air."
The other hоокеr looked at her and said, "Sorry No, I just burped."

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Teacher: How we use the light?
Pupil: To suск it?
Teacher: Why do you say so?
Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suск it!"

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School Jokes Dirty jokes