Dirty jokes

Most popular in this category
Седмоодделенецот што и се пуштал на соученичката Десетокластничка се прибира вкъщи се оплаква на баща си: - Papa, je ne comprends pas, mon copain m'a dit que j'avais un joli châssis, deux beaux amortisseurs et un magnifique pare-chocs... - Et bien dis à ton copain, que s'il ouvre le moteur pour y... Une fille va voir son père et lui demande : - Papa, je n'ai pas compris, mon copain m'a dis que j'avais châssis, deux beaux amortisseurs et un magnifique pare-chocs. Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire ?... Lány az apjának: - Apa, egy srác olyat mondott, amit nem értek. Azt mondta, hogy szép a szélvédőm, gyönyörű a csomagtartóm és a futóművem, jó a kasztnim és kifogástalanok az ütközőim. Ez mit... - Papá, ayer empecé a salir con mi nuevo novio. Es mecánico, y me dijo que tengo 2 bellos amortiguadores además de 2 magníficos parachoques. - ¡Dile a tu novio que si abre el capó y mide el aceite... Dívka hovoří k otci: Tati…Jeden chlapec ve škole mi řekl něco , čemu jsem tak docela nerozuměla. Říkal že mám pěkný čelní sklo , překrásný kufr , super karosérii a moje nárazníky jsou bezchybné….... Iskolából hazajövet a lány közli Édesapjával: " - Apuci ma az iskolában az egyik fiú mondta olyasmit mondott nekem, amit nem értek: szép a szélvédőm, gyönyörű a csomagtartóm, jó a kasznim és... Ateina dešimtokė pas tėvą: - Tėti, man vienas vaikinas pasakė, kad mano apdaila nebloga, didelis bamperis ir kad būtų įdomu pažiūrėti, kas yra po kapotu... Ką tai reiškia? - Tu jam perduok, kad tau... Κόρη: - Μπαμπά, εχθές ένας νεαρός από το σχολείο, μου είπε κάτι που δεν το καταλαβαίνω. Μου είπε ότι έχω καταπληκτικό σασί, δυο πανέμορφα αμορτισέρ και δυο φοβερούς προφυλακτήρες. Τί εννοούσε;...
Dad Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes Black People Jokes
В аптеката: 15 презерватива моля. Кеса La caja de preservativos y la farmaceutica - пожалуйста, десять пачек презервативов! - пакет...?! - да нет,... In der ApothekeEine Schachtel Kondome, bitte. Молодой человек в аптеке: В аптеката. В аптеката: - 20 презерватива, моля. - Пликче искате ли? - Не, тя ми е много красива!!! So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs. O homem vai comprar camisinhas: — Deu 10 reais senhor, vai precisar de sacola? — Não, ela nem é tão feia assim! Un mec va à la pharmacie pour acheter des préservatifs. Le jeune homme paie et le pharmacien lui demande : – Vous voulez un sac en plastique avec ? Le garçon lui répond: – Non merci, elle n’est pas si moche que ça… Kunden: - 2 paket kondomer tack. Expediten: - Vill du ha en påse till ? Kunden: -Nej tack, hon ser ganska OK ut faktiskt. A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly." "Ein Packung Kondome, bitte." "Tüte dazu?" "Nein danke, sie ist ganz hübsch." En dreng går ind i en butik for at købe kondomer, hvor så ekspedienten spørger: – ”Vil du have en pose til? ” Hvor han så derefter svarer – ”Nej tak, så grim er hun ikke” Geht ein Mann in einen Laden und kauft eine Packung Kondome. Da fragt die Kassiererin: „Brauchen Sie noch eine Tüte dazu?“ Darauf der Mann: „Nein danke, so hässlich ist sie nicht!“ - 6 db óvszert kérnék! - Zacskót adjak? - Nem köszi, szép a lány! Komt een jongen bij de drogist om een pakje condooms te kopen. Bij het afrekenen vraagt de kassier: “Wilt u er een papieren tas omheen?” “Nee dank je”, zegt de jongen, “zo lelijk is ze nog net niet.” Оди некој дечко во трафика и му вика на продавачот: - Дајте ми 3 кондоми! - Сакате кеса? - Не бе, дај ми ги така, не е толку грда! Aptiekā -Man lūdzu prezervatīvus! -Maisiņu vajadzēs? -Nē, paldies viņa man skaista - Θα ήθελα ένα κουτί με προφυλακτικά παρακαλώ. - Θέλετε και σακούλα; - Όχι εντάξει, βλέπεται!
Dirty jokes
Theres this girl,she is five.
She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fuскing аsshоlе!"
Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does аsshоlе mean?
The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND!
Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom.
Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo!
THE dad says "Shiт!"
So the girl ask her dad "What does shiт mean?"
And he stammers "Shaving cream".
So she said okay and went about her day.
Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey.
Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuск!".
So Jill ask "What does fuск mean momma?"
And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting."
All of the sudden, they hear the door.
Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door.
He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?"
And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her аsshоlе, my Moms fuскing the turkey and my Dads wiping the shiт off his face."
Dad Jokes Dirty jokes Boss Jokes
Малко момченце пише писмо до Дядо Коледа: Дете: Желба A little boy wrote to Santa ... Α letter to santa Claus Un bambino a babbo natale: Малко момченце писало на Дядо Коледа: "Изпрати ми сестричка!". Маленький хлопчик написав Діду Морозу: Dziecko do świętego Mikołaja: - Przyślij mi na święta braciszka. Święty Mikołaj do dziecka: - To przyślij mi przed świętami swoją mamusię. A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy." Un enfant écrit au Père Noël : - Cher Père Noël, pour Noël, mon voeu le plus cher serait d'avoir une petite soeur. Réponse du Père Noël : - Pas de problème, envoie-moi ta mère! En gang skrev en lille dreng til julemanden ”Gider du være sød og give mig en lillesøster?”. Så skrev julemanden tilbage ”Okay, lån mig lige din mor” Bambino: “Caro Babbo Natale, come regalo quest’anno mandami un fratellino”. Babbo Natale: “Caro bambino, mandami tua madre”. Bulişor îi scrie lui Moş Crăciun: - Anul asta, să-mi trimiţi un frăţior! De Crăciun, Bulişor nu primeşte nimic. Supărat, îi scrie din nou lui Moş Crăciun: - De ce nu mi-ai trimis frăţiorul? Anul... Bula, la 5 ani ii trimite scrisoare mosului de Craciun: ,,Draga Mosule, vreau sa am un fratior mai mic'' Mosul o citeste, si ii trimite lui Bula o alta scrisoare: ,,Atunci trimite-mi-o pe mamica ta!'' Un copilas ii scrie lui Mos Craciun: - Trimite-mi un fratior Mos Craciun raspunde: - Trimite-mi-o mai intaii pe mata. Pepíček píše Ježíškovi „Pošli mi sestřičku“. On odpovídá „Tak mi pošli maminku.“ Toto écrit au Père Noël : - «Cher Pere Noel, Cette année, ce que je voudrais, c'est une petite soeur. Toto» Il reçoit une réponse quelques jours plus tard : - «Cher Toto, Pas de problèmes,... Му пишало некое дете на Дедо Мраз „Дедо Мраз те молам прати ми сестричка". Дедо Мраз му пишал "Ок, прати ја мајка ти"
Dirty jokes
School Jokes Dirty jokes
A husband had to leave his wife for 3 months while he attended business in Africa. To prevent her loneliness and to lower the temptations of her being unfaithful he gave his wife a magic dildо before he left. The reason it was called a magic dildо was because no matter where the wife was all she would have to do is say, "magic dildо" and then the place she wanted the magic dildо to be and it would appear there.
Well a week after her husband left the wife decided to give the magic dildо a try. She left it in the garage and then went up into her bed and said, "magic dildо, vаginа." Instantly it appeared where it was called and satisfied the wife. The wife was very excited about her magic dildо and started to use it every where. She called to it at work when no one was looking, in the wooded part of the park, at the movie theater, when she was dancing, everywhere. No matter where she was it would appear and make her squirm with pleasure.
One day on her way to work the wife hit bad traffic. She looked up ahead and saw there was an accident and realized it would be a while and decided to call the magic dildо. The wife was feeling really confident and called out "magic dildо, vаginа." She became overwhelmed and hit the accelerator slamming into the car in front of her. As it turned out that car was a cop.
The cop came up to the car seeing the woman squirming and suspected she was on drugs.
"Get out of the car now and put your hands on the hood!" The wife tried to comply but ended up just falling to the pavement. The officer was quite alright and asked the wife what she was on. The wife told him "Officer I'm not on any drugs, my husband gave me a magic dildо and its causing me to loose control!"
The officer, not buying it, simply replied "Magic dildо, my аss."
Africa Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes