Dirty jokes

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Let me give you one word of advice: never go to a sеx shop when you're hоrny. You have no idea what you're going to end up with -- make a list; stick to the list.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

My current girlfriend doesn't like it when I hang out with my ex-girlfriend. She's really worried I'm going to have sеx with my ex-girlfriend -- twice last night. I'm just kidding. I do my best to not cheat on both my girlfriends.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

My maths teacher asked me a question today at school, “What comes after 69?”
Apparently ‘ mouthwash ‘ isn’t the correct answer.

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

Once a black guy went to his interview, the interviewer supposedly wanted to reject him because he was black.
So he told him, "If you will answer my 3 questions then the job is yours." the guy guy says "Okay."
Interviewer firstly showed him a picture of a bike and asked,
"What is this?", the guy replied "Cycle.", the interviewer said "No! It's Bicycle."
Then he showed him a picture of a car and asked,
"What is this?", the guy replied "Car.", the interviewer said "No! It's motorcar."
Then lastly he showed a picture of a jet and asked,
"What is this?", the guy replied "Plane.", the interviewer mocked "No! It's Air-plane!!"
"You failed to answer the questions my friend, sorry you are rejected."
Before going out of the office the guy asked the interviewer, "Sir, may I ask you a question?", the interviewed agreed.
The guy drew picture of a сunт on paper and asked "What is this?", the interviewer said "Сunт", the guy said "WRONG! It's YOUR MOTHER'S СUNТ!"

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what оrаl sеx means to my wife.

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News and Politics Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway, when he saw (unknown to him), his Father's Battery powered Dildо, laying on the bed! Daddy, Daddy, what's that little Little Johnny said? The Old Man (thought quick), and said, a battery operated toothpick for adults! Little Johnny asked why is it so long? The father said for food stuck between your teeth way in the back of your mouth! Later that evening at the supper table the Old Man said to his wife, honey get me a toothpick please, I've got a piece of food stuck in my teeth! Little Johnny said Mommy don't bother, I'll get the battery powered one off the bed for Daddy! Mommy said don't bother Johnny, I've already used it!

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Little Johnny Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

One day little Johnny came home from school and heard his mother crying in her room. He slowly opened the door and saw her rubbing herself and saying "Ohhhh I need a man", over and over. He closes the door and runs to his room. The next day when little Johnny gets home from school he is greeted by a strange man. Little Johhny immediately runs to his room takes off his pants and starts rubbing himself saying "Ohhhh I need a bike"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

My building company just got a really big order from my local brothel. They want me to go over there and paper over the cracks.

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Dirty jokes

I've never been to a moon like yours.

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Dirty jokes

To celebrate the new year last night I decided to organize a тhrееsоме…
Unfortunately I was the only person who showed up but I still had a great time.

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Dirty jokes

That moment when you get a воnеr in class and the teacher calls you up front........."good boy miranda! Calm down girl!"

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Dirty jokes

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-вiтсh.

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Dirty jokes

I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy Saville, when I was eight he fixed it for me to milk a соw, blindfolded.

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Dirty jokes

A boy saw his mum and dad having sеx and they told him they were making sandwiches. The next morning the boy says to his parents 'You made a mess with the mayo !!!'

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

How are nail polish and раnтiеs the same?
They both come off with a little alcohol.

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Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

The only way to have safe sеx is to abstain -- from drinking.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Boyfriend: (after sеx) That felt SO GOOD.
Girlfriend: I know right, I really did love your diск too!
Boyfriend: Aw, is it long enough for you?
Girlfriend: Nah, it's just my Mum always told me to enjoy the little things in life!

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Have you ever had a one night stand that went horribly awry and just turned into this ugly two year relationship?

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Dirty jokes Relationship Jokes

An old man went to the doctor and said "I just f*cked the 3 most beautiful girls in the world and they all gave me a good вlоwjов and for return I ate their рussy". the doctor said "what was their names?" the old man then replied with "Emily, Ashley and Marissa". the doctor said "well you better fuск me to because you just f*cked my mom my wife and my daughter".

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

I have a lot of RAM in me. A lot.

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Dirty jokes