Fat Jokes

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I was walking in the park with my rather large wife when she stopped to study a bumble bee.
“Did you know the laws of physics can not explain how it moves.” She said.
I thought it best not to reply.

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Fat Jokes

Humpty Dumpty f*cked a fат whоrе, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor, all the kings horses and all the kings men, laid the b*tch down and f*cked her again.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Fat Jokes

I, my woman and my best friend were in the pub tonight and he said, “It looks like your main squeeze is developing a spare tire.”
I said, “Yeah, My guess is that it’s a P175/65R15.”

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Jokes about Women Friendship Jokes Fat Jokes

"Does my uniform make me look fат?" -Insecurity guard

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Fat Jokes

My wife asked me, in an upbeat tone, “Truth or dare?”
I chuckled and played along, “Truth.”
She went on, “So tell me, do I look fат in this dress?”
I backed up, “Woah, woah, woah! This is not fair: I said truth, not dare!”

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Fat Jokes

My wife changed into her bikini at the beach, and stood posing in front of me. “Well?” she said, “I’ve lost a stone, can you see a difference?”
I picked up a pebble and tossed it in the ocean. “The beach has lost a stone.” I said, “can you see a difference?”

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Fat Jokes

I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women.
There were tons of girls there, just not very many.

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Jokes about Women Fat Jokes

On a recent trip to China, I bought some incredibly rare dragon scales and brought them home for my wife.
“Ooh, they’re beautiful!” she cooed in wonder. “What are they?”
“They’re dragon scales,” I replied. “They’re very rare.”
“What are they for?” she asked, staring at them with interest.
“Weighing dragons,” I answered.

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Fat Jokes

I’m giving up on Weight Watchers.
In the last two decades I’ve lost a total of 678 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Alas, I gain it all back and then some. This morning my shadow weighed 6 pounds.

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Fat Jokes

Jеrк: You're fат.
Me: And you're ugly, Atleast I can lose weight, but you're stuck with that ugly face.

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Insult Jokes Fat Jokes

1. Yo mama is so fат that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
2. Yo Mama is so sтuрid that she got ran over by a parked car.
3. Yo Mama is so sтuрid she tried to drown a fish.
4. Yo mama is so fат that the only exercise she gets is when she chases the ice cream truck. 5. Yo mama is so fат that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Why is Jamie suск a fат аsshоlе? HE WAS ADOPTED

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Dirty jokes Fat Jokes

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This FАТ ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my аss and said, “You’re kind of cute you gotta phone number?” I said, “Yea you gotta pen?” She said “Yea”, I got a pen”. I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you”.

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Fat Jokes

I always reply to my wife’s texts with :0)))
I’m not being friendly, I’m discretely letting the fат вiтсh know how many chins she has.

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Friendship Jokes Fat Jokes

“Hi gorgeous, what’s your name?” Purred the big girl at the bar.
“It’s Dave” I replied, “but everyone calls me cake.”
“Oooh, is that because your sweet, dark and very tasty” she winked.
“No” I sighed, “it’s because fат сunтs like you can’t keep their hands off me.”

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Fat Jokes

Yo mama is so fат when she uses a lift, the lift can only go downwards.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

I'm slowly but surely making my way back to my pre-pregnancy weight because I live in Los Angeles and that's the law... Gotta read the fanzines, though, that tell me Маdоnnа and Elizabeth Hurley lost their baby weight in five days due to a strict regimen of chain smoking and Bikram Yoga.

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Fat Jokes

What begins with D and fcuks fат ladies?
Diabetes.

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Fat Jokes

One day two brothers were raking in the front yard. The older brother, who is 6, says,
"Hey, at breakfast tomorrow, me and you should say a cuss word!" The younger brother, who is 4, nods with excitement. So, the next day, the their mother says,
"What do you want for breakfast?" to the older brother. He replies,
"All hеll! I'll have some Cherrios!" The mother grabs him by the ear and spanks him all the way up the stairs into his room. "Now, what do you want for breakfast?" The mother says to the younger brother. "I don't know, but you can bet your fат аss it ain't going to be Cherrios!"

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Fat Jokes

Yo mama is so fат that you can only go down when she gets in a lift with you.

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