Food Jokes

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Q: Why did the fат turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.

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Food Jokes Car and driving jokes

Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker tomato?
A: "You better ketchup!"

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Food Jokes Military Jokes

Q: What do tofu and a dildо have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.

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Food Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes

A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."

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Food Jokes Life Jokes

Q: What's yellow and goes up and down?
A: A banana in an elevator.

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Food Jokes Kids Jokes

A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster.
The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster.
The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable соск."

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Food Jokes Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Money jokes Restaurant Jokes

The Dove Bar's like an 80-pound wаd of chocolate on a toothpick.
If you're not careful when you take it out of the package, you'll snap your wrists.

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Food Jokes Chocolate Jokes

Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?
A: A rotisserie chicken.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?
A: A соск that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and a lollipop?
A: A c**ksucker.

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Food Jokes Men jokes

A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."
The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes

A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."
"So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked.
"One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up."
The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?"
"You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: Where do one-legged people eat?
A: IHOP.

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Q: What do you call two banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers.

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Food Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who's there?Banana.Banana who?Knock, knock.Who's there? Banana.Banana who?Knock, knock.Who's there? Banana.Banana who? Knock, knock.Who's there? Orange.Orange who?Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Food Jokes

Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
The police thought it was a cereal killer.

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Food Jokes Police Officer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: How do you know if a chef is a clown?
A: The food tastes funny.

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Food Jokes

A preacher's wife goes to the butcher.
The butcher asks if she'd like to try some dамn ham.
The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the веаvеr and dam logo.
That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?"
His wife says she bought some dамn ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo.
At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Ham."
The son replies, "I'll pass the dамn ham if you pass me the muthaf**kin' mashed potatoes."

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God Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes

One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car.
He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house.
The salesman had some time to кill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen.
The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to кill one chicken.
"That''s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. "How do they taste?"
"I don't know," said the farmer. "We've never caught one."

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Kids Jokes Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes