Food Jokes - Page 6

A family was having guests to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and says, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," replies the little girl."
Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie."
Her daughter takes a deep breath, bows her head, and solemnly says, "Dear Lord, why the hеll did I invite all these people to dinner?"

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Where would you learn how to make ice cream?
At Sundae school.

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "We need the eggs."

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Kids Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Baby Jokes

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "вiтсh" and "ваsтаrd" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."
The next day, he overheard his parents having sеx. He later asked what "реnis" and "vаginа" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."
At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."
A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello вiтсhеs and ваsтаrds! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas - we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

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Little Johnny Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.
She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."
The first student raised her hand to volunteer.
"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first."
Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.
Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..."
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, "My father is a воокiе. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Dad Jokes Banker Jokes

Why So Much Milk?
A milkman gets an order for 45 pints of milk. Puzzled, he decides to ask the customer if this is a mistake. When he knocks on the door, a woman comes out wearing just a bath towel, and she confirms that she wants 45 pints. "Milk baths are good for your skin," explains the woman."Oh, OK," replies the milkman. "Do you need it pasteurized then?""No," says the woman. "Up to my тiтs will be fine."

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Looking Good Jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Boob Jokes

Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute."
Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky 'egg'lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
"What are you doing?," the female egg asked.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."

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Looking Good Jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Men jokes

A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde snort Sweet'N Low?
A: She thought it was Diet Coke.

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

What do spaghetti and women have in common?
They both squirm when you eat them.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: What food diminishes a woman's sеx drive by 90%?
A: Her wedding cake.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Wedding jokes

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.
They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They sсrеw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of аss that will bring tears to your eyes.

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cheerios?
A: "Wow! Doughnut seeds!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
A: They can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.
"But sir, what about the mad соw?" asks the waiter.
"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes.
A: So they can tell if they're coming home or going to work.

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Men vs Women Jokes Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

The following sign was posted at a fast-food restaurant owned by two blondes:
Parking for drive-through customers only!

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Stupid Jokes