Friendship Jokes

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We've been reading in the papers lately about terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shore, as many Pelicans have been found with their beaks cut off. Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.

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Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes Friendship Jokes

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

I feel like Taylor Swift is that friend who invites her self to places.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Friendship Jokes

You know you're getting fат when you say you're fат in front of your friends and nobody corrects you.

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Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes Fat Jokes

Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade.
Utkarsh:
"What are you doing these days?"
Sparsh:
"Phd."
Utkarsh:
"Wow! You're a doctor!"
Sparsh:
"No, Pizza Home Delivery."

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes

Me: You wanna a duckdo?
Friend: What's a duckdo?
Me: Quack, you sтuрid f*cker.

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Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes

A blonde is wearing a pair of socks that don't match, one is red and the other is white. Her friend sees her out and says,
"You know your socks don't match, right? You're wearing one red sock and one white sock." The blonde responds, "That's so weird! I have another pair just like it in my drawer at home."

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Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes

One day, as a husband was reading the Sunday paper, his wife smacked him upside the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" cried the husband.
"I was doing your laundry when I found a piece of paper with the name of Marylou on it!" screamed the wife. "Who is she? Are you cheating on me?"
"Honey don't worry. Remember when I went to the horse race three weeks ago with my friends? Marylou was the name of the horse I was betting on.
Satisfied, the wife continued doing the laundry. A few hours later, the wife smacked the husband with a frying pan again.
"What was that for?" said the annoyed husband.
"Your horse called."

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Friendship Jokes

Teacher: If your friend needs $5 and you give them $10, how much will you get back?
Me: Nothing
Teacher: You sir don't know math
Me: You madam don't know my friends.

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Friendship Jokes Math Jokes

You're a воов. just tittin. you're my вrеаsт friend.

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One-Liner Jokes Friendship Jokes

Friend:
"She's hot."
Me:
"Yeah, I'd respect the shiт out if her. Then introduce her to my family so hard."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes

Friend: You get those CD's?
Me: What CD's?
Friend: CD's NUTS ВIТСН!
Me: Oh good one did Wilma tell you that one?
Friend: Who the fuск is Wilma?
Me: Wilma my diск fit in your mouth!?

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Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

Have your friends collect your records and then change your number. I guess I don't need that though, now that you're just somebody that I used to вlоw.

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Friendship Jokes

Me: Hey, if you were on a bus full of gаy guys, would you get off ?
Friend: НЕLL YEAHH !!
Me: Haha... I knew you were gаy .
Friend:
- _-

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Friendship Jokes

Me: What did 0 say to 8?
Friend: *sigh* what.
Me: NICE BELT!

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Friendship Jokes

I had this one friend named philip. He got his lips removed so then we called him phil.

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Friendship Jokes

Me: I know a gаy guy that sounds like an owl.
Friend: Who?

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Friendship Jokes

Me - I'm gonna кill all the jews and one clown.
Friend - Why one clown??
Me - See! No one cares about the jews!

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Friendship Jokes

Friends are like snowflakes. Рее on them and they go away.

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One-Liner Jokes Friendship Jokes