German Jokes

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A record number of germans is expected on the dutch coast because of the warm weather. The last record dates from 1940

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German Jokes

Q: What do you call Vasoline in German?
A: Vienerschlide.

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News and Politics Jokes German Jokes

How many Germans does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Just one. They’re fiercely efficient and not really given to jokes.

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Light bulb jokes German Jokes

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye
The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

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German Jokes

Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Нiтlеr back to life so he can show you how to use a fuскing oven

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German Jokes

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Неll for various reasons.
American: I won’t ever see my dog again!
Italian: I won’t ever make pizzas again!
German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?

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Heaven And Hell Jokes German Jokes Italian Jokes American Jokes Dog jokes

A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)

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Jokes about Women German Jokes Military Jokes

A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”

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USA Jokes Student jokes German Jokes School Jokes American Jokes

A German went to France for holiday and here is the scene, French border staff: Occupation?
German: No, no, no, just visiting.

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Nationality Jokes German Jokes

Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.

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German Jokes

did u hear about the new german microwave?
it has ten seats in it

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German Jokes

To be the perfect German you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbles and as blonde as Нiтlеr.

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German Jokes Blonde Jokes

When a clock goes forward, it’s tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, its tactic!

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German Jokes

My German girlfriend likes to rate my sеxuаl performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried аnаl. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes German Jokes

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder

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German Jokes

A Grek and an Italian go into a restaurant
Who pays?
The German.

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Italian Jokes German Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags,
„We have nuclear submarines which can stay under water for six weeks without having to resurface!“.
Trump goes on,
„Six weeks? That’s nothing. I have the best submarines, they‘re underwater for at least three months!“.
Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears -
„Heil Нiтlеr! We need Diesel.“

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German Jokes American Presidents Humor

Why Germans don't play scrabble fussbodenschleifmaschinenverleih

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German Jokes

German WI-FI

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German Jokes

Either the glass was made in China, or the fly was made in Germany.

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German Jokes China Jokes

Miss germany 2024. Random girl at oktoberfest

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German Jokes