Good jokes

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Kids Jokes

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Good jokes

Daughter asks her mother, “Mum, how long have you been married to dad?”
“Ten years.”
“Oh, and how many do you still have left?”

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Good jokes

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?
He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

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“Your waffle iron isn’t working, dear!”
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“Please just stay away from my laptop grandma!!!”

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Good jokes

What happens when a cop gets into bed?
He becomes an undercover cop.

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Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?
It had a nosebleed.

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What did the stamp say to the envelope?
You stick with me and I will take you places!

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Good jokes

A little boy visits his farmer grandpa and watches him milk the cows.
The next day one of the cows runs away and grandpa is really upset about it.
“Don’t worry, Grandpa,” says the boy helpfully, “she can’t have gone very far with an empty tank.”

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Good jokes

If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?

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I got my girlfriend a “Get better soon” card.
She’s not ill or anything, but she could definitely get better.

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Hilarious Jokes
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Good jokes

A police officer stops a minivan full of elderly ladies being driven by an old gentleman because they’re only going 25 mph, stopping the mid-day traffic.
The policeman asks the driver why is he going so slow.
“Well that’s the speed limit, isn’t it! There was a sign saying 25 and everything!” the driver defends himself.
The policeman sighs, “No, sir, that’s the number of the highway you’re on. It has nothing to do with the speed limit.”
“Oh, so that’s what it means…” says the driver, looking shocked.
The officer looks at the rest of the van and notices the grannies are looking somewhat frozen and stiff.
“What’s up with the ladies?” he asks the driver.
“Um…” the driver scratches his head, “you see, we just got off highway 150…”

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Good jokes

Of course I should clean my windows. But privacy is important too.

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Good jokes

Why did the crab cross the road?
Actually, it never did. It used the sidewalk.

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Good jokes

I just came back from a court. They charged the guy with bringing his own bag of candy, popcorn and soda to the cinema.
It’s really unjust that he lost. Eventually he had to pay the court fees and legal counsel. At least he’ still a few dollars in the black compared to having bought all that at the cinema.

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Good jokes

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U. S.
One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U. S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'
The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"

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Good jokes

I Googled "how to start a wildfire".
I got 48,500 matches.

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Good jokes

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

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Pet Jokes Animal Jokes Good jokes Dog jokes

An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: "So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!"
"Oh, that's wonderful! And how old is the bride?"
"She's 19."
"That's fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!"
"Ah well, if she dies, I'll just have to remarry."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Good jokes

A man asks a farmer near the field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:30 PM train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4 PM one."

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Animal Jokes Insult Jokes Men jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Good jokes