Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes

There was a little boy and a little girl ...
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said,
"What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said,
"What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later the little girl said,
"How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs.
Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub.
"What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit....so I cut the back wheels off....."

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The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"
The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence?
Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue."
"That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."
Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."
The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"
Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Fart Jokes

Why don't little girls fаrт?
Because they don't have аsshоlеs until they're married.

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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Fart Jokes

Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet.
His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him. When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher anticipates he'll say, "аss" so she calls on Mary Lou, who says "apple."
This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet. Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny.
He exclaims, "R is for rats - big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!"

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Old People Jokes

One roommate said to another, "Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth."
His roommate replied, "Oh, that's my fault - I guess I missed."

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Gross Jokes Men jokes

A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the вuтт before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the вuтт?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."

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Gross Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's аss?
A: A mechanic!

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Rude Jokes

Q: Why does a dog liск himself?
A: He can't make a fist.

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia. When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack."
Three rabbits," Jed said.The warden said, "Let me see one of those rabbits." So Jed pulled out one of the rabbits. The warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's вuттhоlе, pulled it out, smelled it and said, "This is a Georgia rabbit."
Then the warden said, "Let me see your Georgia huntin' license."
So Jed showed him. Then the warden said, "Let me see another one of those rabbits."
So Jed pulled out another rabbit.Then the warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's вunghоlе, tasted it and said, "
This is a Alamba rabbit. Let me see your Alamba huntin' license."
So Jed showed them to him.
Then the Warden said, "Where you from boy?"
So Jed pulled his pants down and said, "You figure it out!"

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Q: Why did the referee stop the lереr hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.

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Gross Jokes

How does hеrреs leave the hospital?
How does hеrреs leave the hospital?
On crotches.

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Gross Jokes

Q: Why are drummers like laxatives?
A: They irritate the s**t out of everyone.

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Gross Jokes

Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"
The old woman replies shyly, "Depends... ."
"Depends on what?" he asks.
"On my bottom - where else?!"

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Flirt jokes

What do you call a sеx-crazed gаy cannibal?
A head hunter!

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What do a bungee jump and a hоокеr have in common?
A: They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

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Gross Jokes

What did the banana say to the viвrатоr?
"What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."

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Gross Jokes

Three triplets in the wомв discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here."
The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here."
The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer."
The other two ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?"
He replies, "So I can beat the hеll out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."

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Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Dirty jokes Baby Jokes

Jack and Jill,
Went up the hill
To smoke some marijuana
Jack got high
Pulled down his fly
And Jill said I don't wanna!

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Gross Jokes

What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.

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Gross Jokes

Q: What did one of the prositute's knee say to the other?
A: Nothing. They have never met.

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes