Insult Jokes

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So my mate is telling me how he traded insult for insult last night.
Seems he picked up this ditzy airhead in the pub and they went back to her apartment. She suddenly stopped their love-making.
“What’s wrong?” he asked “Did I do something wrong? Say something wrong?”
He said she just lay there, rolling her eyes and she said, “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.”
So he knows something is wrong and so he just talks to her for a while to settle her down, then asks her again, “Now tell me what’s wrong.”
She says, “Well, I hate to hurt your feelings, but to be perfectly honest, your оrgаn is just too small.”
My friend feels lower than a snake’s belt buckle, but he hits back hard, saying, “Well, sweetie, my оrgаn was never meant to play in a cathedral.”

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Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Dumb kid: WANNA FIGHT?!
Me: In my country don't believe in hitting little girls, sorry.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

The Democrats are the worst. They call Bill Clinton the 'most electable' of the Democrats. It's like calling Moe the 'smart' Stooge.

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Insult Jokes

How many people here are sтuрid? It's good to be sтuрid. It takes a lot of pressure off you. You do something wrong -- 'What are you, sтuрid?'
'Yeah.'

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Insult Jokes

I would say you're pretty, but my parents always told me honesty is the best policy.

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Insult Jokes

I can't stand you anymore!
Then sit down.

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Insult Jokes

I saw a thing in the store the other day, 'Buy a set of dumbbells, get a video tape on how to use it.' I'm thinking to myself, 'You don't know how to use dumbbells -- what are the odds you know how to use a VCR?'

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Insult Jokes

Mom:
"You don't need drugs to have fun."
Me:
"Ya, well I don't need running shoes to run but it makes it a hеll of a lot easier".

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Insult Jokes

Diск: Your still a virgin
Me: Ya until last night
Dick Ya okay
Me: Just ask your sister
Dick: I don't have one Me: You will in about 9 months

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Insult Jokes

Prince: so nice to meet you, your beautiful face is making me dizzy. *farts*
Princess: did you just fart
Prince: i was just blowing you a kiss with my вuтт hole.
Kickass if you get it
By meza pants so that my friends will know

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Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

I bet your mom was so let down when she got you instead of her period

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Insult Jokes

Guy 1: I get a воnеr when I look in that mirror
Guy 2: that's a photo of me

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Insult Jokes

Teacher: John You need to turn in that paper that your missing
John: why I already have a bad grade!
Teacher: hey watch the back talk!
John: you watch your front talk!

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Insult Jokes

The Democrats are useless. If they were asked to form a firing squad, they'd all get into a circle.

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Insult Jokes

Me: How do you make an animal to talk to you?
Friend: How?
Me: I just did.

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Insult Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes

Don't you hate it when a kid in your class acts all smart and everything. So in class one day after they get done being a sмаrтаss, say...
Unless your name is Google stop acting like you f*cking know everything because you don't.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

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Insult Jokes

Everybody knew my father. He would come home; hoodlums are standing around. 'Hey, Mr. Morris, how was work today?'
'You motherf**kers wouldn't know, would you?'

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Office and Work Jokes Insult Jokes

I look at divorce this way: it's better to have loved and lost, then have to live with that вiтсh for the rest of my life.

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Insult Jokes

Stop thinking that your hot because the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

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Insult Jokes