Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Q: When is a door sweet and tasty?
A: When it’s jammed!

0 0

Kids Jokes

Passing an office building late one night, the blonde saw a sign that read, "Press веll for night watchman."
She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed men proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
"Well," he snarled, "what do you want?"
"I just wanted to know why you can't ring it yourself."

30 0

Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunк.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
You own a homemade fur coat.
The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
The вееr can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.

14 0

Drinking and Drunk Jokes Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Halloween Jokes Beer Jokes Dog jokes

Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can вlоw smoke through his nose!" boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can вlоw smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy.
"That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can вlоw smoke through his аrsе. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undiеs."

28 0

Dad Jokes Kids Jokes Drug Jokes Fart Jokes

Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
Class: The second one!

25 0

Kids Jokes School Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes

Shut the fudge up. You little astronaut. What the helicopter are you doing? You son of a batch of cookies.
That's how you cuss a kid out.

0 0

Kids Jokes

I met a girl who used маsтurвате to 2 girls 1 cup.
And that kids, is how j met your mother.

10 0

Kids Jokes Gross Jokes Masturbation jokes

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.

6 0

Men jokes Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Dating Jokes

A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says:
"Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas."
Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

0 0

Christmas Jokes Kids Jokes Holiday Jokes

What do you call a black man playing in a pile of leaves?
Raisin Bran

0 0

Men jokes Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

Swag is for boys.
Style is for men.
Class is for gentlemen.
But TRIX are for kids.

0 0

Kids Jokes Men jokes

Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?"
Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied.
"Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey.
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I'll be there too.
Not in the cage, But laughing at you".

31 0

Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Funny Poems Beauty Jokes

Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm

36 0

Kids Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Baby Jokes

Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him:
"Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!"
"I do not want," says the little one.
"Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful."
"I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest.
"My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow."
And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"

30 0

Dad Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out.
The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him.
The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid.
"Is this really your grandmother?"
"Yes. She visits every Christmas!"
"Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists.
"At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."

24 0

Christmas Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Aviation Jokes Grandparent Jokes

Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back

23 0

Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?"
Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun."
God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations."
The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan."
"Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp."
Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?"
"Fuск that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."

25 0

God Jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

5 0

Kids Jokes Police Officer Jokes

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.
"Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of вееr left, so I let my baby brother have it."

19 0

Dad Jokes Kids Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Baby Jokes Beer Jokes

A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.

18 0

Chuck Norris Jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Halloween Jokes