Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

A lot of weird ads. Sally Struthers with that little kid:
'Just 55 cents, the price of a cup of coffee, feeds this kid and his family for a week.' Yeah, where is that? 'Cause I wanna move there.

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Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare. The guns, the gangs, the drugs -- and I'm home schooling them.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

I was such a mean little kid. I was like, 'Dad, you know what? You can't tell me what to do. You're not even my real father.' He's like, 'Watch your mouth, boy. I still got the receipt.'

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Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

Dad: Son!
Kid: What?
Dad: Where's your homework?
Kid: Oh, it's done.
Dad: I said WHERE.
Kid: in the world.
Dad: Where in the world?
Kid: In our home, duh
Dad: Where in the home?
Kid: Which home?
Dad: Our home!
Kid: Who is our?
Dad: You, your mother and I
Kid: Which eye? The left or right?
Dad: Shut up!
Kid: Who?
Dad: You!
Kid: When?
****Dad leaves home****

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Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.
Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping.
His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.
In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"

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Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

When I was a kid, my parents gave me a drum set for Christmas. They let me ваng them as long as it wasn’t after midnight.
They always slept better after being banged.

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Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Woke up early and punched the missus in the face,
This woke the kids up so I gave them a couple of jabs on the stomach,
The dog came running in so I gave him an uppercut.
I fuскing love Boxing Day

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Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes

The six year old asked his grandpa how old he was. Grandpa decided to have some fun and replied, "I really don't know."
The boy said,
"Why don't your look in your underwear?"
"Why would I do that?" he replied in wonder.
"Well mine says 4 to 6 and I am six years old."

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Kids Jokes

If the 9+10=21 kid was Chinese:
Guy: You sтuрid!
Kid: No I'm not!
Guy: What's 9+10?
Kid: Twenty wаng.

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Kids Jokes

Popular Kid: Your A Fail
Other Kid: Just Like Your Abortion! Twice!
Whole Class: OOOO

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

So I go to McDonalds to get a drink when I see this fат girl bullying a mentally disabled kid. So I walk up to her.
Me: You know that can happen to any of us, right?
Girl: Well God gave me a mouth to speak with so I'm going to use it
Me: Yeah? Well God gave you a mouth to eat too, but you abused that privilege, didnt ya?
Girl:
- Speechless-
Me: Wipe that ketchup off your сhin, too.
Girl:
- Wipes сhin-
Me: No, your other сhin.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes God Jokes Fat Jokes

I don't want to be younger, I really don't. Every time I look back a couple years, I think, 'God, what a jеrк I was.' But with that knowledge comes the realization that I'm a jеrк right now. I think that's why old people get real quiet. They're like, 'Man, I'm an idiот. I'm going to just stand right here.'

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Kids Jokes God Jokes Men jokes

"Dad, where did I come from?" asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than a few days too late, so, for the next two hours he explained every thing to his son. When he got finished, he asked his son what prompted his question to which his son replied, "I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

Kid: Dear Santa send me a brother
Santa: Bring me your mother

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

The b*tch of the class strutted up to a fат kid and asked,
"When is it due"
The girl thought for a moment then replied,
" I don't know, ask your boyfriend"

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Fat Jokes

Yo mamma so fат when she went out side in a yellow rain jacket and the kids yelled the school bus is here

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

I just saw two elementary school kids having a fist fight. So as an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

A kid has a shower with his mom and says dont look up so he does and said mommy whats that the mum said the garage sweetie
The next day the kid has a shower with his dad and the dad said dont look up so he did and he said whats that daddy the dad said the harley
That night the kid sleeps in his mom and dads bed and the dad comes in a says copme on time to move i have to park the harley in the garage and the little boy said i just did that daddy

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Chuck Norris: Now kids do not try this "Swallows Lava"

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Kids Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Teacher:Why didn't you do your homework?
Student: I was busy last night.
Teacher: What were you doing?
Student: Well I had soccer practice until 7:30, then i had to eat dinner with my family. I then went to bed.
Popular kid: So you went to bed early! BABY, BABY!
Student: Well, I didn't go to bed by myself.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Insult Jokes