Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

A recent report says that 60% of 14 yr old girls in Liverpool go binge drinkin.
That’s terrible ….. Who’s looking after their kids.

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My kid asked me a funny question today, he said “Dad do you know anything about contraception?”, I said “If I did you wouldn’t be here.

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Kids Jokes Relationship Jokes Dad Jokes

So I read this article in the papers about a 14-year old girl’s bet to have sеx with 100 men in one year.
It disgusts me to see kids betting.

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News and Politics Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it. The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked,
"What now?"
The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

Does anyone remember when it was normal for kids to go outside and be gone all day, but parents wouldn’t know where you were, just that you better be home when it is dark?

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Kids Jokes

How does a homeschooler change a light bulb?
First, mom checks out three books at the library on electricity, then the kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison and do a sкiт based on his life. Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles. Next, everyone takes a trip to the store where they compare types of light bulbs as well as prices and figure out how much change they'll get if they buy two bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five-dollar bill. On the way home, a discussion develops over the history of money and also Abraham Lincoln, as his picture is on the five-dollar bill. Finally, after building a homemade ladder out of branches dragged from the woods, the light bulb is installed and there is light.

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School Jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes

Mother had just finished waxing the floors when she heard her young son opening the front door. She shouted, “Be careful on that floor, Jimmy; it’s just been waxed.”
Jimmy, walking right in, replied, “Don’t worry, Mom, I’m wearing my cleats.”

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Kids Jokes

Mom:
"Eat your vegetables."
Kid:
"I hate vegetables!"
Mom:
"But they like you."
Kid:
"That's because I don't eat them!"

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

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Kids Jokes

A little Henry sits at the dinner table, reaches into his plate, picks up a chicken leg, and starts to eat. His mother says,
"Henry did you wash your hands?" Henry replies,
"No! I don’t want my chicken to taste like soap mom!

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Kids Jokes

Why is it called a 'Picnic'?
Betty Sue wanted to eat outside on a hot summer day with her boyfriend. Problem: she had two boyfriends, Fred and Nick. Considering she knew she wouldn't have a very happy lunch if the two boys were arguing, she decided just to choose one boy to have the meal.
She Picked Nick.

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Kids Jokes

It is better to be on seventh heaven, rather than on the seventh month.

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Kids Jokes

See, the rules have changed, men. It's a different world. I've got a mini van. My father never had a minivan. I grew up in the late 60s, early 70s. He had a '68 Chrysler with vinyl seats, he made a turn -- my brother and I were hanging out of the window. He didn't care. He was trying to lose us.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

Billy and Tommy were watching a boat pull a man on skis across the lake.
“What makes that boat go so fast?” asked little Billy.
It’s because that man on the string is chasing it,” said Tommy.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

After years of using the same perfumes, I decided to try something different and settled on a light, citrusy fragrance.
The next day I was surprised when it was my little boy, not my husband, who first noticed the change.
As he put his arms around me, he declared, "Wow Mom, you smell just like Froot Loops!"

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Kids Jokes

I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”

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Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes

It was the first day of school after summer vacation.
The kids had all arrived in the high school sophomore English class, and were chatting away, making new friends.
THEN…In walked a very stern looking English teacher and a hush fell over the room as the kids scurried to their seats.
The stern teacher silently panned his gaze across all the kids.
After about a minute or so, he spoke...
"From the outset, I want you all to know that there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom.
You cannot use them as you recite, or in any of your papers, tests, or homework.
Using these words even once, will get you a failing grade for that quarter.
The first one is "gross"
And the other one is "cool"
Are there any questions?"
After a few moments of silence, this gawky teen at the back of the room raises his hand,
And the teacher calls upon him.
In a pubescent croaking voice, the kid asks...
"So, what are they?"

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Friendship Jokes

Here about the kid who at 5 cans of alphabet soup in one sitting?
They say he later had a massive 'vowel' movement.

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes

Yo mama so fат when she put a yellow jacket on kids say get ready here come the bus!!!!!

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Kids Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Chuck Norris burns calories by chucking fат kids into the fire.

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Kids Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Fat Jokes