Skip to main content

  • Home
  • Categories
  • Popular
  • Funny pictures
  • Most Popular Jokes
  • Latest Jokes
  • Jokes about Women
  • Religion jokes
  • Office and Work Jokes
  • Gross Jokes
  • Sports Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Marriage and Family Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Medical and Doctor Jokes
  • Dark Humor Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Dirty jokes
  • Chuck Norris Jokes
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drinking and Drunk Jokes
  • Putin Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Police Officer Jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Mother-in-Law Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Scottish Jokes
  • Soccer Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Dad Jokes
  • Gynecology Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
Вицове за Деца Kids Jokes Kinderwitze Chistes para niños Анекдоты про детей Blagues sur les enfants Barzellette per Bambini Παιδικά ανέκδοτα Вицеви за деца Çocuk Fıkraları Анекдоти про дітей Piadas de Crianças Dowcipy o dzieciach Skämt för Barn Kinder Moppen Børnevitser Barnevitser Lapsivitsit Gyerek viccek Glume pentru copii Vtipy pro děti Anekdotai apie vaikus Anekdotes par bērniem Vicevi za djecu
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Home
  2. Kids Jokes

Kids Jokes

Most popular in this category
This teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she’s telling them that the word of the day is ‘contagious.’ She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands. “Carl,” she says.
Carl says, “My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, ’cause they’re contagious.”
“Very good,” says the teacher.
Then she picks Suzie, who says, “The atmosphere was contagious,” and the teacher says, “Excellent, Suzie!”
Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class.
“Yes, Johnny?” she says. Johnny says, “The other day, me and my dad’s a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, “Jesus, it’s gonna take that c*nt ages to finish that fence.”
0 0
0
Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Blonde Jokes Dad Jokes
“Fuскing kids are expensive,” I said. …
…
“Is,” corrected my lawyer.
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes
“So what did you wish for?” Asked my wife as I blew out my birthday candles.
“I’m not telling you that,” I replied, “It won’t come true.”
“Oh, come on, you don’t believe that do you?” She asked.
I said, “I’m not taking any chances, you сunт, just leave it.”
“Right, that’s it,” she raged, “I’ve had enough of your mouth, I’m taking the kids to my mum’s for the day.”
“There you go,” I smiled, “if I’d have just told you that, it may not have come true.”
0 0
0
Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes
Don't you love the zoo? I love the monkeys, those are my favorite. They're so cute. And my least favorite, those are the, uh -- with little heads, the -- the kids.
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Animal Jokes
"An abstract noun," the teacher said,
"Is something you can think of, but you can't touch it.
Can you give me an example of one?"
"Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."
0 0
0
Kids Jokes
A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said,
"Now that's addition." In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said,
"Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation. And both together smiled and said,
"That's multiplication." Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that boy three blocks away and said,
"That's long division!"
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Dad Jokes
Short kid: Hey tall kid, I bet you don't know who your dad is!
Me: What's the matter? Where are Snow White and the other six dwarves? They're probably celebrating the fact that they lost you! Short kid:(Silence)
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Dad Jokes
Me: Hey dad, do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a little kid?
Dad: Yeah
Me: Well I just saw him the other day and he wanted me to tell you he says hi.
Dad: Fuск you
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes
I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas. … …
…
Now I’m freaking stuck taking care of a puppy.
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
I went to my father. I said, 'Daddy will you buy me some roller skates for Christmas?'
'Buy? I'll make you some dамn roller skates.' Christmas morning, I wake up to some homemade roller skates made out of platform shoes. Cheap аss didn't even get real skate wheels, just took some gold wheels off an old couch.
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes
I had finished my Christmas shopping early and had wrapped all the presents. Having two curious children, I had to find a suitable hiding place. I chose an ideal spot-the furnace room. I stacked the presents and covered them with a blanket, positive they’d remain undiscovered.
When I went to get the gifts to put them under the tree, I lifted the blanket and there, stacked neatly on top of my gifts, were presents addressed to "Mom and Dad, From the Kids."
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes Dad Jokes
I went to Iraq, and the ironic thing is, everybody in my family that's pro-war was against me going. 'Tom, you have a nine-month-old son -- why the hеll would you go to Iraq?' Like, I'm just looking for one good night's sleep this year.
0 0
0
Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Military Jokes
So there was a plane and in that plane was 4 people a Pilot,Lawyer,Priest, and a kid. The plane is going down and fast but there was only 3 parachutes so the pilot says "I have a family and a daughter that is expecting" he grabs a parachute and jumps off the plane. The lawyer says "well I'm the smartest man on earth so I have to live" he grabs a parachute and jumps off. So now there is only 1 parachute left the Priest notices this and tells the kid " Son go ahead take the last one I have lived my life" The boy looks around the plane and says "wait we can both live" the priest says " well how can that be?", the boy says " because the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack" ????
0 0
0
Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Lawyer Jokes
Ever do that when you were a kid -- sleep in your bathing suit? I wouldn't even take it off to go to the bathroom. I just moved it on over.
0 0
0
Kids Jokes
Kids these days have got it so easy... when I was a kid, there wasn't any paedophiles about so we had to buy our own candy!
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Dirty jokes
Kids are chasing me down. 'Mr. Vallee, Mr. Vallee, what can I do for extra credit?'
'Jimmy, you got 98% in my class, OK? Unless you got Salma Hayek or a bottle of Captain Morgan in your backpack, I can't do anything for you.'
0 0
0
Kids Jokes
I saw a kid getting beaten up by 4 gang members, so I helped out. … …
…
…
He didn’t stand a chance against the 5 of us.
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes
Kid: I want a dragon for christmas.
Santa: Be realistic.
Kid: Ok, I want a loyal girlfriend.
Santa: What color dragon do you want?
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Christmas Jokes
A five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a вееr. The preacher who lived across the street saw the вееr and came over to harass the kid.
“Aren’t you a little young to be drinking, son?” he asked.
“That’s nothing,” the kid said after taking a swig of вееr. “I got laid when I was three.”
“What? How did that happen?”
“I don’t remember. I was drunк.”
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
Punctuation can really change a sentence.
For example, “Let’s eat kids” becomes “Let’s eat punctuation”.
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
  • Previous
  • Next
Privacy and Policy Contact Us