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This kid walks into a general store one day and asks for a job. The owner tells him that he doesn’t need any help. The kid is persistent so the guy tells him to watch him when the next customer comes in. If he can do what he does, he’ll give him a job.
A few minutes later a customer comes in. “Good afternoon sir. What can I do for you?” The guy says, “I need some grass seed.” So the owner goes and gets it. When he gets back he says, “How about a lawn mower to go with this.”
“What do I need a lawn mower for?”
“Well when the grass grows your going to need something to cut it with.”
“Yea, OK, I’ll take a lawn mower too.” After the customer was gone, the owner turned to the kid and said, “That’s how it’s done. Can you do that?” The kid said, “Sure.”
So the next customer comes in and says, “I need some Tampax.” The kid says, “Yes sir.”, and goes after them. When he gets back he says, “Would you like a lawn mower to go with that?” The guy says, “What the hеll do I need a lawn mower for?” The kid replies, “You might as well cut the grass. Your weekend is shot, that’s for sure…..”
Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's children's chapel on Sundays before the eleven o'clock service. One Sunday, the subject was the Twenty-third Psalm.
The minister told the children about sheep, that they weren't smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd's job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed. He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance.
Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, "If you are the sheep, then who is the shepherd?"
He was expecting the kids to refer to him. A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said,
" Jesus, Jesus is the shepherd."
The young minister, caught somewhat off-guard, said to the boy, "Well, then, and who am I?"
The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug, "I guess you must be a sheep dog."
A young man just had his first customer, which turned out to be a BIG BURLY truck driver. The young man walked up to the table where the truck driver was sitting and asked; can I take your order sir? The truck driver replied, sure kid I want three flat tires and two headlights. The young man was very puzzled and said, I beg your pardon? The truck driver said again, look kid; I want three flat tires and two headlights. The young man was still puzzled, but replied; yes sir, whatever. The young man then took the request to his boss who was the head cook. He told him about the truck driver's order, and that he wanted three flat tires and two headlights, “I think he's in the wrong place.” The head cook said, I know what he wants, he wants three flap jacks and two eggs sunny side up; the truck driver is just trying to be smart, I know him. The cook said to the waiter here, take this bowl of beans, give it to him and say this. The truck driver said, Listen kid, I didn't order this; I said I wanted three flat tires and two headlights. The waiter replied, Well sir, the head cook said while you wait for your parts, you can gas up!