Skip to main content

  • Home
  • Categories
  • Popular
  • Funny pictures
  • Most Popular Jokes
  • Latest Jokes
  • Jokes about Women
  • Religion jokes
  • Office and Work Jokes
  • Gross Jokes
  • Sports Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Marriage and Family Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Medical and Doctor Jokes
  • Dark Humor Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Dirty jokes
  • Chuck Norris Jokes
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drinking and Drunk Jokes
  • Putin Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Police Officer Jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Mother-in-Law Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Scottish Jokes
  • Soccer Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Dad Jokes
  • Gynecology Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
Вицове за Адвокати Lawyer Jokes Anwaltswitze Chistes de abogados Анекдоты про адвокатов Blagues d'avocats Barzellette sugli avvocati Ανέκδοτα για δικηγόρους Вицеви за адвокати Türkçe Анекдоти про адвокатів Piadas de advogados Dowcipy o prawnikach Advokatskämt Advocaten Moppen Advokatvittigheder Advokatvitser Asianajajavitsit Ügyvéd és bíró viccek Glume despre avocați Vtipy o právnících Anekdotai apie advokatus Joki par advokātiem Vicevi o odvjetnicima
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Home
  2. Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Jokes

Most popular in this category
It's time for all bad spellers to untie.
I yell because i care.
Is it true that cannibals won't eat a clown because they're afraid they will
Taste funny?
Beauty is in the eye of the вееr holder.
Pets welcome: children must be on leash.
He who laughs last, has the best lawyer.
Actually i am a rocket scientist.
I've been dieting for 31 days and all i lost was 31 days.
Warning: i have an attitude and i know how to use it.
Take me drunк i'm home again
Don't do what i say do what i mean
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
I'm looking for the upper taker not the undertaker.
General custer wore arrow shirts.
The word verb is actually a noun.
It's not whether you win or lose, what counts is if i win or lose
0 0
0
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."
He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write, 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."
0 0
0
I wanted to sue the airline because they damaged my luggage.
I showed the badly damaged remains to my lawyer.
He said “You don’t have much of a case.”
0 0
0
A redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having their babies. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said “congratulations, your wife has had quadruplets; 4 big baby boys.” …
…
The redneck said “I am not surprised. I have a johnson the size of a chimney.” …
…
The nurse replied, “you might want to get it cleaned, or get a divorce lawyer, because they are all black.”
0 0
0
Five cannibals get hired on as engineers at a large International Company…. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says, “You’re all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the cafeteria for a meal, so please don’t eat any of the other employees.” The cannibals promised.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says, “You’re all working very hard, and I’m very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our janitors has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?”
The cannibals all shake their heads no. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others, “Which of you idiots ate the janitor?”
A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replies, “You fool! For four weeks we’ve been eating Vice Presidents, Corporate Lawyers, and Regional Managers and no one noticed anything, and you have to go and eat the janitor!”
0 0
0
What is the difference between a sреrм and a lawyer? None, both have one in a million chance to be human beings.
0 0
0
Mrs. Cohen, Mrs. Levy, and Mrs. Lefkovitz are discussing their sons. Mrs Cohen says, “Now my Sheldon, what a man! A world famous lawyer, he is, with big shot clients, a mansion in Beverly Hills, a summer home in Hawaii. He has a beautiful wife, and everything a man could want in the world.”
Mrs. Levy says, “That’s nice. Lemmie tell you about my son Johnathan. He is a doctor, a world-famous researcher. He travels across the world on conferences, talks, lectures. He was nominated for a Nobel prize in Medicine. What a man!”
Mrs. Lefkowitz says, “My Hershel, he’s an engineer. Now, he makes maybe $35,000 a year, and he’s not famous. But his Рее Рее is so long, you can line up ten pigeons in a row on it.”
The ladies sip their tea for a while. Then, Mrs. Cohen says, “Actually, I got a confession to makes. Sheldon’s an up-and-coming lawyer in Los Angeles, but he doesn’t have a mansion or a summer home. He’s a bright young man with a good future.”
Mrs. Levy says:
“Well, I got a confession too. Johnathan is a good doctor, and he got his share of scholarships, but a Nobel prizewinner, he isn’t.” They all look expectantly at Mrs. Lefkowitz.
“Well, all right, I’ll tell the truth too. The last bird gotta stand on one leg.”
0 0
0
Top Ten Things That Sound Dirтy In Law But Aren’t:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
…
9. He is one hard judge!
…
8. Counsellor, let’s do it in chambers.
…
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
…
6. Is it a penal offence?
…
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
…
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
…
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
…
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
…
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirтy in law but isn’t:
…
1. Think you can get me off?
0 0
0
Teacher: Class when you grow up what do you want to be and why?
Student 1: I want to be a doctor, to help those who are in need.
Student 2: I want to be a lawyer, to also help those who are in need.
Student 3: When I grow up, I'll probably be the one in need...
0 0
0
One guy to another, “Last week I took the first step towards getting divorced.”
“Did you see a lawyer?”
“No, I got married.”
0 0
0
There was a lawyer and a skunk standing in the road. How can u tell which lane each one was in?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk...
0 0
0
How to identify groups:
A group of White people= Lawyers
A group of Black people= Gangs
A group of Mexican people= Gangs
A group of Italians= Mafia Business
A group of Arab= Terrorists
A group of Romanians= Illegal immigrants
A group of Indians= Rise of the Planet of the Apes
0 0
0
When I was younger, I wanted to be Michael. You know, my friends, they were like, 'I want to be doctor. I want to be a lawyer.' I was like, 'I want to be Michael Jackson!' -- until he turned into a white woman.
0 0
0
A man hated lawyers with a passion and every time he would pass one while driving he would run him over
Once while he was driving he saw a priest walking on the side. being a nice guy he offered him a ride. as he was driving he suddenly saw a lawyer so out of habit he turned to try to hit him. then remembering who was sitting in the back he right away swerved back on to the street. just then he heard a crash he turned around. the priest told him I see you missed him in the front so I got him with the back door!!!!
0 0
0
Three Friends
Three friends - a surgeon, an engineer, and a politician - were discussing which of their professions was the oldest. The surgeon said "Eve was created from Adan's rib - a surgical procedure." The engineer replied:
"Before Adam and Eve, order was created out of chaos, and that was an engineering job." The politician said,
"Yes, but who do you suppose created the chaos?"
0 0
0
A mother and a daughter are visiting a deceased family member in a graveyard. On the way out the daughter asks why they bury two people in one grave. The mother asks her daughter why she says that and the daughter replies,
"Well, that gravestone says 'Here lays a lawyer and an honest man.'"
0 0
0
“Fuскing kids are expensive,” I said. …
…
“Is,” corrected my lawyer.
0 0
0
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. “Jury trial,” the defendant replied. “Do you understand the difference?” asked the judge. “Sure,” replied the defendant. “That’s where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one.”
0 0
0
A man committed мurdеr. To fight his case he was advised to hire a good lawyer. He checked one who asked for $100. He thought this one is not good enough. The next one wanted $500. The next $5000. He found a real expensive one who wanted $10,0000. So the accused hired him. Ultimately he lost the case and was sentenced to death. As he was being taken to the death chamber, the first lawyer met him on the way and said " I would have got you this result for $100 only"!
0 0
0
Trying to find just the right name for your child? Why not pick one of these?
Just find your profession below and we have the right name for you!
Lawyer’s daughter: Sue
Thief’s son: Rob
Lawyer’s son: Will
Doctor’s son: Bill
Hair stylist’s son: Bob
Homeopathic doctor’s son: Herb
Justice of the peace’s daughter: Mary
Sound stage technician’s son: Mike
Gambler’s daughter: Bette
Iron worker’s son: Rusty
TV star’s daughter: Emmy
Movie star’s son: Oscar
0 0
0
  • Previous
  • Next
Privacy and Policy Contact Us