Little Johnny Jokes

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A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sеx education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sеxuаl innuendo.
But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sеx education from the class.
One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher.
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther.
"Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher.
Finally, little Johnny raises his hand.
With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.
"I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns."
The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sеx education, Johnny?"
"It'll teach those Indians not to fuск with the Lone Ranger."
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A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Сhrisт because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.
He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc.
So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He’s in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He’s in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
And Little Johnny said, "Well… every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Сhrisт, are you still in there?'"
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Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said "what we are going to do today class is, I am going to give you a letter and I want someone to raise their hand and if l call on you l want you to give me a word that begins with that letter. So The teacher says "A" and Little Johnny immediately raises his hand but the teacher knows he will say аsshоlе so she calls on Little Mary and she says "apple."
"Very good" the teacher replied. "Okay, how about the letter B"
Little Johnny once again immediately raises his hand and says "please please pick me" so the teacher thinks for a moment and inside her head knows he'll say вiтсh or ваsтаrd, so she skips over Little Johnny and calls on Little Brad and Little Brad replies "boat."
"Very good Brad" the teacher says. "Now how about C" the teacher asks.
Immediately Little Johnny's eyes light up and this time says "oh pick me, pick me l know one" the teacher instantly goes right to Little Bobby and he says "car."
"That's a good one Bobby."
So the teacher does the same thing with the letter D and ignores Little Jonny raising his hand.
Now the teacher says "You're all doing a great job class, how about E" this time Little Johnny stands up waving his arms begging for a chance.
So the teacher pauses for a solid 10 to 15 seconds and can't think of one bad word that begins with the letter E.
So she reluctantly calls on Little Johnny and Little Johnny very nicely and calmly says "Elephant" and before the much-relieved teacher can even exhale, Little Johnny puts both hands up out in front of himself approximately two feet apart and yells out "with a fuскing соск this big!
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Госпожата пита Иванчо: - Иванчо, кажи ми пет африкански животни. La señorita le pregunta a Jaimito: Lehrerin: „Fritzchen, nenne mir bitte fünf Tiere aus Afrika?“ Fritzchen: „Zwei Löwen und drei Elefanten.“ Il figlio chiede aiuto al padre per fare i compiti. "Papà, mi puoi dire 5 animali che vivono al Polo Nord?" "Certo, 3 foche e 2 pinguini!" Na lekcji biologii pani pyta uczniów: - Proszę wymienić pięć drapieżników. - Jeden lew i cztery tygrysy. W szkole pani prosi Jasia: - Wymień cztery zwierzęta afrykańskie. - Słoń i trzy żyrafy. – Kan du säga tio djur som bor på Grönland? – Nio isbjörnar och en valross. — Вовочко, назви десять африканських тварин. — Шість мавп і чотири крокодили. De meester vraagt aan Jantje: noem eens vijf dieren in Afrika! Jantje:twee olifanten en drie tijgers Pani od biologii pyta Jasia: - Jasiu wymień mi 5 zwierząt mieszkających w Afryce. Na to Jaś: - 2 małpy i 3 słonie. Öğretmen Osman’a sordu: - Osman evladım, bana on tane vahşi hayvan sayabilir misin? Osman başladı saymaya: - Aslan, kaplan, kurt, ayı ve altı tane kartal öğretmenim. La maitresse à Toto lui demande de citer 10 animaux africains. Alors le petit toto repond : - La giraffe, l'éléphant et... 8 lions !
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One day little Johnny was playing on his push car that u sit on and push with your feet.
His looked like a bus, and as such he was the bus driver.
Little Johnny would drive a little, stop, and say "all you mother fuскеrs that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuскеrs that want to get off, get off."
His mother was in the kitchen and thought surely I didn't hear him correctly.
But then once again, little Johnny stopped and said "all you mother fuскеrs that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuскеrs that want t o get off, get off."
So him mom came running out and told her young son he was to go to his room 'till he learned to play right.
About 20 minutes later Johnny came out to play.
Be reassured his mom he learned his lesson.
So, back on his bus, he began driving around again.
He stopped and said "all you nice people that want to get off, get off. And all you nice people that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuскеrs that want to know why I'm late, ask the вiтсh in the kitchen.
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