A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.'' ''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny. ''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad. ''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a сrар in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sеx with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is sсrеwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''
Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the сrаск of her вuтт.
I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!"
"Johnny," the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women."
Sure enough, the very next Sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the сrаск of her вuтт. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out.
Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"
A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a соw and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a соw turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s**t?"