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So this dude walks into an ice cream shop and he asks the clerk, ‘hello sir may I have a quart of vanilla?’ …
…
The clerk politely responds, ‘I’m sorry we’re fresh out of vanilla.’ …
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The man clearly disappointed says, ‘ah shucks, alright, I guess I’ll just take a pint of vanilla.’
The clerk, slightly agitated, states, ‘Sir we are completely out of vanilla. I don’t have anymore.’
The man lets out a sigh and says, ‘OK, OK, fine. I’ll just take a cone of vanilla.’
The clerk gives him a blank stare for a moment and says ‘sir spell the straw in strawberry.’
‘S-T-R-A-W.’
‘Spell the choc in chocolate.’
‘C-H-O-C.’
‘Ok now spell the freak in vanilla.’
‘But there’s no freak in vanilla.’
‘THATS WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU! … THERE’S NO FREAKIN’ VANILLA!’
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A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home.
When they got back to America the man said, “I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.”
So the next day the man took her to a baseball game.
The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked.
The man said, “Are you understanding this game?”
The woman answered, “Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it.
Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing.
And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.”
Then the man says, “Well that is because he has four ваlls.”
The woman says, “Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.”
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A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. The scientist was bored and said to the poet, "Hey, you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5. Then, you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $5."
The poet thought about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the scientist was obviously a very bright man. He politely turned down the scientist's offer.
The scientist, who was really bored, tried again. "Look, I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50."
The poet agreed. "Okay," the scientist said, "what is the exact distance between the Earth and the Moon?"
The poet, obviously not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the scientist's question. He took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist.
The scientist happily accepted the bill and promptly said, "Okay, now it's your turn."
The poet thought about this for a few minutes, then asked, "All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?"
The bright glow quickly vanished from the scientist's face. He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia. As the plane was landing the scientist gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a $50 bill.
The poet accepted it graciously, getting ready to stand up. "Wait!" the scientist shouted, "you can't do this to me! What's the answer?"
The poet looked at the scientist and calmly put a $5 bill into his hand.
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Когато НАСА изпратила за пръв път човек в космоса те открили, че обикновенните химикалки (с малка съчма) не работят. Когда NASA впервые заслало американских астронавтов в космос, очень быстро выяснилось, что шариковые ручки в условиях отсутствия гравитации просто не пишут ! When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. Όταν η NASA ξεκίνησε την εκτόξευση αστροναυτών στο διάστημα, ανακάλυψαν ότι τα στυλό δεν δούλευαν σε μηδενική βαρύτητα καθώς το μελάνι δεν κυλούσε στην επιφάνεια γραφής. When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a... Když NASA poslala první kosmonauty do vesmíru, zjistila, že psací pera nefungují při absenci gravitace. Vyřešením tohoto problému pověřila konzultantskou společnost. Po deseti letech a 12 milionech... När NASA började skicka upp astronauter i rymden upptäckte de snabbt att kulspetspennor inte fungerade i noll gravitation. För att lösa problemet spenderade NASA-forskare ett decennium och 12... Cind NASA a inceput trimiterea de astronauti in spatiu, s-a descoperit ca pixurile nu functioneaza in stare de imponderabilitate. Pentru a rezolva problema, oamenii de stiinta americani au cheltuit... Όταν η ΝΑΣΑ πρωτάρχισε να στέλνει αστροναύτες στο διάστημα, σύντομα διαπιστώθηκε ότι τα στυλό δεν "έγραφαν" σε 0 βαρύτητα Η ΝΑΣΑ έβαλε επιστήμονες και ξόδεψε 10 χρόνια και 12 δις δολάρια για να... Da NASA først begynte å sende opp astronater, fant de fort ut at kulepenner ikke virket når det var null gravitet. For å bekjempe dette problemet, brukte forskere på NASA et tiår og 12 milliarder...
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