Men-Women jokes

Q: What's a 68?
A: You do me and I owe you!

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A young woman goes to her doctor and finds out that she is pregnant.She says, "I can't be! The only men I've been around are nudists from my colony, and we only practice sеx with our eyes."
The doctor replies, "Someone in that colony must be cockeyed."

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?
A: The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and a dozen donuts. Q: Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony?
A: The girl who can eat the last donut.

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Men vs Women Jokes Coffee Jokes

A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a nакеd woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the huband keeps looking.
She asks, "What are you waiting for?"
He replies, "Autumn."

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Men vs Women Jokes Military Jokes

You've been married to the women for 20 years.
She don't use nothing but Dial soap. Her mama uses Dial soap. All seven of her sisters use Dial soap in their seven respective homes. You can go through purse, pocketbook, and find Dial coupons any given time of the day or night. Dамn you if you come home smelling like Zest!

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What is the height of noise?
A: Two skeletons f**king on a tin roof.

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Men vs Women Jokes

When the ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals and said in a demanding voice:
"Listen up kids! There will be NO sеx on this trip. Not even the wetting of the tip of your реnis. All of you males, take off your penises and hand them to Jim the Monkey. He will write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your реnis back." After about a week, Mr. Rabbit ran over to his wife and very excitedly said, "Quick! Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!" Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window and said, "Sorry, no land yet." "S**t!" shouted Mr. Rabbit and out he went. This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water had drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day?" "Look!" said Mr. Rabbit with an impatient look on his face as he held out a piece of paper. "I GOT THE DONKEY'S RECEIPT!"

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Men vs Women Jokes

A newly married hillbilly couple decided they wanted children, but didn't know how to go about it.
Questions and conversations with friends and relatives proved no help, until a neighbor said they should go to town and ask the Big City Doctor. The doctor let them look at a child's book about where babies came from, but to no avail. He tried his own explanation but was met with blank stares. Exasperated, he took them to his private office, and showed them a роrnо movie. This was also useless. Angrily, he ordered the girl to sтriр, told the man to watch, and had sеx with her on the couch.
''Now, do you understand?'' he asked.
''I just have one question. How many times a week do I have to bring her in for this?''

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Men vs Women Jokes Military Jokes

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room.
When they start to have sеx, the wife says that she has something to confess.
The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell me."
So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat chested.
The husband says, "I can deal with that."
He takes off her shirt and shouts, "Boy! you are small, but I love you nyway."
The husband says, "I have something to confess also."
She says, "No matter what I will still love you."
He says, "Okay.I am built like a baby down there."
She says, "I can deal with that."
So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she finally gets up.
She says, "I thought you said you were built like a baby?"
He says, "Yeah....7lbs, 21inches."

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Men vs Women Jokes Hotel Jokes

This guy buys a new motorcycle.
The salesperson tells him that when it rains to go outside and rub Vaseline on it because it makes it look nice and shiny. Later that night, he goes to eat at his girlfriend's house, and the rule at thier house is if you talk during supper you have to do the dishes. So they are eating and he looks at his girlfriend and kisses her. Nobody says anything. So he fuскs her right at the table and nobody says anything. So he looks over at her mom and kisses her too. Nobody says anything. So he does her too. Next thing he knows he looks outside and it is starts to rain outside, so he grabs the Vaseline out of his pocket. At that his girlfriend's dad stands up and says, ''Okay. I will do the dамn dishes.''

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Men vs Women Jokes

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.
First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."
Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."
Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows."
Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.
First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend."
Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."
They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.
First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish - let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
Third Bull: "Неll, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."

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Men vs Women Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes

A dentist tells a blonde that she needs braces.The blonde says, "Why? I can walk just fine."
When the dentist explains that braces are for her teeth, she replies, "But my teeth don't walk."

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Dentist Jokes

I don't think I could be gаy.
I just like girls too much. Man, girls are neat. I'm gonna get one, I think.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer?
A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
A: Artifical intelligence.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?"
The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?"
The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?"
The blonde woman replies, "Um. Oh yeah, I remember now. 'Feed the pigs - and don't touch a thing!'"

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

Q: What do you call a маsтurватing bull?
A: Beef Strokinoff.

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Men vs Women Jokes Masturbation jokes

Q: What did the elephant say to the nакеd man?
A: "It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Q: Why don't blondes take birth control pills?
A: The pills keep falling out.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

How many men does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
One, men will sсrеw anything.

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Men vs Women Jokes