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Men vs Women Jokes

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How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
- Каква е най-нечувствителната част на пениса? Was ist der unsensibelste Teil am Penis? Der Mann! Qual é o nome daquele pedaço insensitivo na base do pinto? Homem. Comment s'appelle le tissu gras situé à la base du pénis ? - Un homme Hvad kalder man det ufølsomme sted ved roden af penis?? - Manden ... Vad kallas den okänsliga delen vid snoppen? - Mannen. Кој е најнечувствителен дел од пенисот? - Мажот...
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the реnis called?
The man.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
I'm busy.
You're ugly.
Have a nice day.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
- Кети, искаш ли да отидем у нас и да правим секс? - Кать, идем ко мне заниматься сексом?
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her аss as she walks by.
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Political Jokes
Chinese and American are in a plane.
Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry.
After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it.
While he's gone, American spits into his shoes.
Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke.
That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry."
Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we рiss into each others cokes..."
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes American Jokes
A guy walked into his friend’s office.
He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither. He’s bald."
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Friendship Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Secretary Jokes
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job.
The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York.
A nice young man, but a bit timid.
Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!"
Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself.
"He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him.
He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. 
Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education."
Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" 
"Oh," replied Jim " at Yale."
"That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?"
Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Banker Jokes Boss Jokes
Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Banker Jokes
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vаginа?
A: A woman.
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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes Vagina Jokes
Η Ψυχανάλυση Знаете ли защо психолозите предпочитат да работят с мъже, вместо с жени? Почему психологам проще работать с мужчинами, чем с женщинами? ¿Por qué el psicoanálisis es más breve para el hombre que para la mujer?. Porque os psicanalistas são mais rápidos no tratamento dos homens do que nas mulheres? Porque enquanto as mulheres têm que regredir até a infância, os homens já estão lá. Weshalb geht eine Psychoanalyse bei Männern schneller als bei Frauen? - Wenn es darum geht, in die Kindheit zurückzugehen, haben die meisten Männer nicht weit. Por que a psicanálise é mais rápida para os homens ? Porque quando dizem para ele voltar à infância, ele já está lá ! Pourquoi une psychanalyse dure moins longtemps pour un homme ? Pas besoin de régresser en enfance, c'est déjà fait. Pourquoi est-ce que la psychanalyse des hommes est plus rapide que celle des femmes ? - Parce qu'il s'agit de remonter dans l'enfance, et avec les hommes, on y est déjà. Proč je rychlejší psychoanalýza u muže? Protože když se chce doktor dostat do jeho dětství, tak už je tam. Dlaczego psychoanaliza mężczyzn jest szybsza od psychoanalizy kobiet? - Dlatego, że chodzi w niej o powrót do dzieciństwa, a mężczyźni już tam są. Varför går en psykisk analys mycket snabbare för män än för kvinnor? - När det är dags att gå tillbaka till barndomen är männen redan där.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
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Relationship Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes
Lady goes to her doc.
"Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type.
The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
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Old People Jokes Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Men vs Women Jokes
I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high.
She looked surprised.
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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Friendship Jokes
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirтy; we iron-they wrinkle.
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Relationship Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging. Was versteht ein Mann unter Vorspiel? Eine halbe Stunde betteln. Que sont les préliminaires selon un homme ? Mendier pendant une demi-heure. Hvad er mænds idé om forspil? Hvad er mænds ide om forspil? 10 minutters tiggen! Co dla mężczyzny znaczy gra wstępna? - Pół godziny żebrania.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons,
I'm a catholic and living with him is hеll.
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Religion jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
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