One-Liner Jokes

Most popular in this category

Wife: "I am going out for two hours. Do you want anything?"
Husband: "No, that's enough."

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Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I have one cup of coffee every morning to start the day off right...
The other ones are to keep me out of jail, help me form sentences, and fuel my razor sharp wit!

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One-Liner Jokes Coffee Jokes

Everyone told Sam not to sing...
But Samsung anyway.

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One-Liner Jokes

I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”

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One-Liner Jokes Aviation Jokes

Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.
One turned to the other and said, "Hello."
The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."

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One-Liner Jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes

What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?
Her/she.

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One-Liner Jokes

Doctor:
"Have you been drinking fluids?"
Patient:
"Jeez, Doc, that's literally all I drink."

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One-Liner Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

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One-Liner Jokes

Tim: I wish I had the money to buy an elephant.
Tom: What do you want with an elephant?
Tim: Nothing, I just want the money.

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One-Liner Jokes

I'm an investor in mashed potatoes. I receive lump some payments.

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One-Liner Jokes

Diск: Great News! Teacher said we would have a test rain or shine.
Jane: What’s so great about that?
Dick: It’s snowing.

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One-Liner Jokes School Jokes

A grandmother sent her grandson a shirt for his birthday. The only trouble was that he had a size 14 neck and the shirt was size 12.
When the grandson sent a thank you note, he wrote, “Dear Grandma. Thanks a lot for the shirt. I’d write more, but I’m all choked up.”

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Old People Jokes One-Liner Jokes Grandparent Jokes

"Are you going to be using your lawn mower Saturday?"
"Yes, I will be."
"Good... so can I borrow your car then?"

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One-Liner Jokes

A literature teacher is explaining the power of poems and stories. "Have you ever read something that made you cry?"
A student replied, "Yeah, my last report card."

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School Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A screaming, yelling mob were tearing up the High Street.
A policeman stops one runner, and asks, "What's happening?"
"A lion has escaped," he gasps.
"Which way did it go?" enquires the bobby.
"Well we're not вlооdy chasing it!"

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Police Officer Jokes One-Liner Jokes

My wife asked me today if I had seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn’t know he could!

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One-Liner Jokes Dog jokes

How do you start a fairy tale in the modern era?
"If elected, I promise..."

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One-Liner Jokes

Applicant: Shows up 45 minutes late for interview to be a cable installer.
Interviewer: “You’re hired.”

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One-Liner Jokes

On her way back from the concession stand, Sandra asked the man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a minute ago?"
Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did."
Sandra nodded, "Oh, good. Then this is my row."

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One-Liner Jokes

I was in Paris, with orders to replace my boss's antique white chesspieces. He told me, “Spare no expense!” He gave me a blanc échec.

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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes