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One-Liner Jokes

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WORST HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS FOR A RETIREMENT HOME EVER
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One-Liner Jokes Halloween Jokes
Many people are shocked…when they find out I’m a horrible electrician.
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One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
Leaving Work On Friday Like...
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One-Liner Jokes Friday jokes
A lawyer who was upset at the verdict that was handed down to his client at the end of the case said. - Your honor with all due respect I accept your ruling. But if it may please the Court sir I'd like to know just WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE!
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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Why is Facebook like to be in prison?
You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by people you don’t really know!
“When Mark Zuckerberg got married - Facebook raised $15 billion on the stock market. Zuckerberg listed the 10 things he loves about her, while she listed the 15 billion things she loves about him.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Investors are be able to buy shares of Facebook stock. It’s great - now you can lose all your money in the same place you lost all your time.” - Jimmy Fallon
“Facebook has estimated net worth - $100 billion. That’s almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time in Facebook.” - Jay Leno
“The two main websites in the world are Wikipedia, where you can learn about things you care about, and Facebook, where you can learn about people you don’t care at all.” - Craig Ferguson
“Facebook now has 0,5 billion users. The previous record holder was… hеrоin.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“Facebook has passed 500 million members. If Facebook was a country, it would be the third-largest country and the least productive.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“Computer hackers managed to shut down Twitter and Facebook for several hours yesterday. American productivity has jumped by 150%.” - Conan O’Brien
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Facebook Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Social Network Jokes One-Liner Jokes American Jokes
Q: What do blondes and lava lamps have in common?
A: They're both nice to look at, but neither one of them is too bright.
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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes
I think if youre gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, Im dumb. Thats it. That way in 10 years, when you go, Why did I get this?, you can be like, Oh, Im dumb!
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One-Liner Jokes Insult Jokes
An elementary school teacher, well versed in educational jargon, asked for a small allotment of money for “behavior modification reinforces.”
Her superior saw the item and asked, “What in heaven’s name is that?’
“Lollipops,” the teacher explained
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One-Liner Jokes School Jokes Money jokes
My dad discovered the Internet. Uh, just because someone raised you, does not mean that you have to add them on Facebook.
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Facebook Jokes Technology Jokes One-Liner Jokes Dad Jokes Internet Jokes
It's so cold in Alaska that:
... someone stabbed himself with an icicle and died of cold cuts!
... babies are brought by penguins, not by storks!
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One-Liner Jokes
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii...
Or just a-low-ha?
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One-Liner Jokes
Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
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One-Liner Jokes
Set your Wi-Fi password to 2444666668888888.
So when someone asks tell them it’s 12345678.
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One-Liner Jokes
When do you congratulate someone for their mistake?
On their Wedding Day!
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В кои случай поздравявате някого, заради грешка, която е направил? На сватбата му
One-Liner Jokes
My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start, but I made it!
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One-Liner Jokes
I don’t always go the extra mile...
But when I do, it's because I missed my exit!
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One-Liner Jokes
Sam (boasting about his hunting trip): "All of a sudden I spotted a leopard..."
Pam: "You can’t kid me, they come that way!"
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One-Liner Jokes
It's so cold here...
That the local flasher is running up to people describing himself!
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One-Liner Jokes
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret
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Чък Норис знае тайната на Виктория (Victoria's secret)
Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
"Armstrong," the boss said, "I happen to know that the reason you didn't come to work yesterday was that you were out playing golf."
"That's a rotten lie!" Armstrong protested. "And I have the fish to prove it!"
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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes
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