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One-Liner Jokes

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Sports Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Why are marriend women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
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Въпрос: Защо женените мъже надебеляват? Warum sind Junggesellen schlanker? Unterschied verheiratet oder nicht Gewichtsproblem Γιατί οι παντρεμένες γυναίκες είναι πιο παχουλές από τις ανύπαντρες; Γιατί ο παντρεμένος άντρας ειναι πιο παχύς από έναν εργένη; Οι παντρεμένοι ΠΑΝΤΡΕΜΕΝΟΙ ΚΑΙ ΕΡΓΕΝΗΔΕΣ Το φως του μπάνιου... Παντρεμένοι-Ανύπαντροι Каква е разликата между омъжена и неомъжена жена? Защо ергените са по слаби от оженените? Zwei ehemalige Schulkameraden treffen sich nach 30 Jahren wieder. - En fait c'est très simple : Um sujeito gordo e outro magro conversavam. Diz o gordo: — Como é que você consegue se manter assim, magrinho? — É que eu sou solteiro. Quando chego em casa vou para a geladeira e como nunca tem nada que presta, vou para cama. — E você, por que é tão gordo? — É que eu sou casado. Quando chego em... Pourquoi les hommes mariés prennent-ils du poids, alors que les célibataires restent maigres ? - Les célibataires ouvrent leur frigo, ny trouvent rien qui leur plaise, alors ils retournent au lit. - Les hommes mariés vont au lit, ny trouvent rien qui leur plaise, alors ils vont au frigo... What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man? Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge. ¿Por qué un soltero esta más flaco que un casado? Porque el soltero va a la nevera y como no le gusta lo que ve va a la cama. En cambio el casado va a la cama y como no le gusta lo que ve va a... Warum sind Junggesellen schlanker und Ehemänner dicker? Der Junggeselle kommt Nachhause, schaut, was sich im Kühlschrank befindet und genießen dann, was im Bett ist. Der Ehemann kommen Nachhause,... Hvorfor er det at gifte kvinder de vejer meget mere end single kvinder? – Det er selvfølgelig fordi at single kvinder kommer hjem, ser hvad der er i køleskabet, og går dernæst i seng. Gifte kvinder... Singelkvinnor kommer hem, ser efter vad som finns i kylen och går och lägger sig Gifta kvinnor kommer hem, ser efter vad som finns i sängen och går till kylskåpet Minkä takia parisuhteessa elävät naiset ovat yleensä lihavampia kuin sinkkunaiset? - Kun sinkkunaiset ensin katsovat, mitä jääkaapissa on, he päättävät sitten mennäkin mieluummin sänkyyn. Ja kun... Varför väger gifta kvinnor mer än singelkvinnor? Singelkvinnor kommer hem, ser vad de har i kylskåpet och går i säng, medans gifta kvinnor kommer hem och ser vad de har i sängen och går till... Jaka jest różnica między mężczyzną kawalerem, a mężczyzną żonatym? - Kawaler wraca po ostro zakrapianej nocy do domu, zagląda do lodówki, tam nic ciekawego, idzie do łóżka. Żonaty wraca po ostro... Om welke reden zouden de getrouwde vrouwen steeds verzwaren, terwijl de celibataire vrouwen altijd vermageren? Eigenlijk is dat zeer eenvoudig: - De celibataire vrouw gaat naar de frigo, vindt... Pourquoi les célibataires sont maigres ? et pourquoi les hommes mariés sont gros ? Tout simplement parce que le célibataire, quand il rentre chez lui, il ouvre le frigo,il fait "BOF", et il va se... Waarom zijn getrouwde vrouwen over het algemeen dikker dan vrouwen die vrijgezel zijn? Vrouwen die vrijgezel zijn komen thuis, kijken wat er in de koelkast staat en gaan naar bed. Getrouwde vrouwen... Quelle est la différence entre un célibataire Maigre et un homme marié gros ? - Quand le célibataire rentre chez lui, il ouvre le frigo, Regarde, dit: Bof et va se coucher. Quand le marié va se... Vet du hva forskjellen på en gift og en singel mann er? En singel mann kommer trøtt og sliten hjem og sjekker hva som er i kjøleskapet før han legger seg i sengen. En gift mann kommer hjem og ser... Miksi naimisissa olevat naiset ovat lihavampia kuin sinkut? - Kun sinkkunainen tulee kotiin, hän katsoo mitä on jääkaapissa ja menee sänkyyn. Kun naimisissa oleva nainen tulee kotiin, hän katsoo... P: Pq o homem casado é mais gordo q o homem solteiro ? Pq o homem solteiro chega em casa, vai para a cozinha, abre a geladeira, ve q tem sempre a mesma coisa e vai durmir e o homem casado chega em...
Single People Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What's a lawyer's favorite playground apparatus? The suings.
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Lawyer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q. What is a taxidermist's favorite part of Thanksgiving?
A. The stuffing.
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Thanksgiving Jokes One-Liner Jokes Holiday Jokes
You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? Theyre always so condescending. Ah, the book was much better than the movie. Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
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One-Liner Jokes
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin.
At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."
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School Jokes Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A guy shows up late for work.
The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"
he replies:
"Why? What happened at 8:30?"
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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Life Jokes Boss Jokes
"My Friday is ruined!"
"Why, what happened?"
"I realized today is Tuesday."
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Friday jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? A: The outside, of course.
Q: Why did the turkey get in trouble at school? A: He was cornu-copying.
Q: What smells the best during Thanksgiving dinner? A: Your nose.
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Thanksgiving Jokes One-Liner Jokes School Jokes
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says," ' Bout what?" Submitted by Curtis Edited by Calamjo
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One-Liner Jokes
“Why did the doctor accept a new patient? He figured he might as well give him a shot.”
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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
OK MONDAY LET'S DO THIS!
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Monday jokes One-Liner Jokes
And Моsеs looked upon the Lord and said:
"We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?"
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One-Liner Jokes
An irish blonde lady went to the doctor, complaining that the Pill kept falling off.
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Hey, I'm not saying Нiтlеr was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel.
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Hitler Jokes Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? 
A: Humpme Dumpme.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Nurse jokes
“A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat.”
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Police Officer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
11 snoozes into the Monday alarm clock and you wondering if the $38 left in your account will do you for the rest of your life if you quit
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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes
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