One-Liner Jokes

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Mother: Now, Little Johnny, eat your spinach. It’s good for growing children.
Little Johnny: Who wants to grow children?

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One-Liner Jokes

This co-worker of mine, who I dont know well at all, comes up to me and goes, Hey Jessi, I dont know if anyones ever told you this before, but you look a lot like Anne Frank. I didnt really know where to put that as a remark. But the worst thing is that my first thought was, Was Anne Frank hot?

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One-Liner Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I have a tendency to gain weight in certain places. What would you recommend?
Doctor: Stay out of those places!

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? So her male would get delivered to the right box. Submitted by Calamjo Edited by Tanyilazing

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, "Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lеsвiаn." The blonde goes over to her anyway and says,
"So which part of Lesbia are you from?"

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies:
"It's very simple. You're two tents."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admirethe animal.
"What's your dog's name?" she asked.
"Неrреs," replied the dog's owner.
"How.... Odd," said the woman. "Why Неrреs?"
"Because he won't heel."

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One-Liner Jokes

“A dentist in a court trial was оrаlly examined and re-examined by the defence lawyer ruthlessly, to extract the truth.”

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes Dentist Jokes

(do this on your calculator.) one day there was a Blonde who thought her воовs were 2 2 big so she went to 37th street to building number 8 and talked to Dr. double 00. She left building number eight to find she was boobless. ( turn calculator upside down to see boobless)

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Boob Jokes

Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a соndом? So she can have a doggie bag for later.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I do not understand why people write letters to magazines. It accomplishes nothing; its pointless. [If] you want to see your name in print that bad, write on a piece of paper and look at it: Ah, there it is. Just as I always dreamed.

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One-Liner Jokes

So they ask me, Would you like to answer your secret security password question? I think, Oh yeah, surely I can answer a question posed by slightly younger me.

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One-Liner Jokes

What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
Two points, just like everyone else!

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One-Liner Jokes

Speaking to her two daughters, a mother said,
"When we get home you need to clean your bedrooms. Your grandmother is coming to visit us tonight and I want the whole house to look tidy."
The younger daughter answered, "We will, Mommy. But isn't that kind of like, lying?"

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One-Liner Jokes Grandparent Jokes

Saw a great product advertised -- it was a hearing aid made to look like a Bluetooth headset. Its for people who are embarrassed about wearing a hearing aid but not about wearing a Bluetooth headset.

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One-Liner Jokes

“I knew a chemist who use to periodically build tables.”

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One-Liner Jokes

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.

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One-Liner Jokes

I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary!
I said, “Mark, my words!”

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One-Liner Jokes

I cant seal the deal in my dreams. I hit on women in real life and theyre like, In your dreams. Im like, No. Not even there.

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One-Liner Jokes

Where do you look for blondes' obituaries? Under "Home Improvements."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes