One-Liner Jokes

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President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

I went on a hard core drinking and smoking binge, and it lasted right about nine months. And then, as soon as I was born, I was like, Whew! Do not go in there.

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One-Liner Jokes

If you sketched of all my worst qualities, it would make quite a poor trait.

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One-Liner Jokes

Was Thoreau a hermit?

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One-Liner Jokes Superhero Jokes

At a local gun show two guys were bragging about their wife's abilities.
"My wife's a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time."
"That's nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime."

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One-Liner Jokes

Call me a pervert, but I once enjoyed watching a chickpea. Does that make me hummus sеxuаl?

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One-Liner Jokes

My other big obituary fear is, when I die, theyll have my picture, and they always have underneath it, in quotes, He loved to laugh. Oh, he loved to laugh. Well, that doesnt tell you anything. Everybody loves to laugh -- youre laughing! Thats like saying, He hungered for food.

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One-Liner Jokes

Phoenix is so dry because it's in an arid zone-a.

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One-Liner Jokes

Bungee jumping is an expensive sport. There's no such thing as a free lunge.

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One-Liner Jokes

A man taunted Chuck Norris by holding a bag of Lays potato сhiрs in front of him and saying "Betcha can't just one!" Chuck Norris subsequently ate the сhiрs, the bag, and the man whole.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why did the blonde freeze to death at the drive-in?
She went to see "Closed for the season."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A group of working men and women were enjoying happy hour ata local bar. One of them asked what time others went to bedon work nights. A blonde piped up from the end of the bar and said "Well, ifI'm not in bed by ten o'clock, I just go home."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Im watching some television tonight. Im watching The Discovery Channel. You know, this channel, you never ever plan on watching this. It just happens. Youre flickin around, all of a sudden -- boom -- youre watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

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One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Why are men like computers?
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer you couldn't have gotten a better model!

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One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde says to a brunette, "Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt." The brunette says,
"Well, maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Coffee Jokes

Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Brothers from right to left.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes