Programmer Jokes

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Yesterday, Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,
There"s not half the files there used to be,
And there"s a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data"s gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

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Programmer Jokes

Word used by programmers when they do not want to explain what they did.

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Computer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes

Normal people vs. programmers

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Programmer Jokes

This is the kinda party i wanna be invited to

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Programmer Jokes

What are these lines for?

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Programmer Jokes

Programmer in cinema

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Programmer Jokes

99 little bugs in the code

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Programmer Jokes

Never let your computer know that you are in a hurry

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Programmer Jokes

I can't believe it worked first time

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Programmer Jokes

6 stages of debugging

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Programmer Jokes

Algorithm

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Programmer Jokes

Designer prices i design you design prices

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Programmer Jokes

A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St. Peter is not there, but a computer terminal is sitting next to the arch.
She walks up to it and sees, "Welcome to www.Heaven.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue."
She doesn't have either, but underneath the fields is a small line reading:
"Forgot your ID or Password? Click Here." So she does.
Up pops a screen that reads, "Please enter at least two of the following, and your pasword and ID will be e-mailed to you." The fields included "Name," "Date of birth," "Date of death," and "Favorite Food."
The woman enters her name and date of birth, and clicks "Submit."
Up pops another screen that reads, "We are sorry, we did not find a match in our database. Would you like to register?" So the woman clicks the button marked "Yes."
A long and detailed form appears on the screen, and the woman spends some time filling it out. Then she clicks the "Submit" button.
Now she is faced with a screen reading, "We are sorry, this service is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later."
There is a button marked "Back." She clicks it.
A new page appears.
It reads, "Welcome to www.Purgatory.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue..."

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Technology Jokes Programmer Jokes

How many programmers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.

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Technology Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Police Officer Jokes Light bulb jokes Black People Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?
A: Hairy Reasoner.

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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.

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Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What did one computer say to the other?
010101101010101010101

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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.
When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Men jokes

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Military Jokes

Q: How many IT guys does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: None, that's a Facilities problem.

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