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Republican jokes

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How big is a Republican-size bed?
Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.

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Why do they say elephants never forget?
They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.

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How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.

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How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency?
At least two!

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You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.

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Well goodnight everyone.
I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!

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You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

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Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week?
A: Turn on the spell checker.

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Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig.
That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.

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Q: When will scientists cure the common cold?
A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.

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Q: Why did the Republican cross the road?
A: There was a black guy on the first side.

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Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gаy sеx scandal?
A: Due.

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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark

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A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it.
The genie said, "I will grant you one wish."
He said, "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him a Republican.

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Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans?
A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.

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Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!

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Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast?
A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.

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Republican jokes

Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less?
A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.

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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.

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Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year?
A: They couldn't find the three wise men!

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Republicans only seem to care about people's health when they haven't been born yet!

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Republican jokes