School jokes, Teacher Jokes

A teacher asked her class to write on "What's the bravest thing your dad has done?"
A student wrote... "My dad married my mom."

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As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School.
He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation."Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive."
I asked, "What's the difference?"
He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education."

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Military Jokes School Jokes

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?"
A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"

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One-Liner Jokes School Jokes

"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher.The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy, confidently. "Means carrying a child."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Bureaucrat Jokes

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner!"

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Student jokes School Jokes

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math.His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors,flash cards, special learning centers.In short, everything they could think of to help his math.
Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him In the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello.Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying.
Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.
To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.
This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an 'A' in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity.. She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?' Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.. 'Well, then,' she replied, Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?'
Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.'

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Religion jokes School Jokes

"The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a people," the Hebrew teacher informed his class. "Consider that the Chinese have observed only their 4695th. What does this mean to you?"
After a reflective pause, one student volunteered, "Well, for one thing, the Jewish people had to do without Chinese food for 1063 years."

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Jewish Jokes School Jokes

Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher.
"Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?"
"My daddy said it," he responded.
"Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher. "You don't even know what it means."
"I do, too!" Little Johnny retorted. "It means the car won't start."

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Car and driving jokes Kids Jokes School Jokes

Teacher: “What is the difference between ‘Tea’ and ‘Tee’?
Student: "The first one is a drink and the second is an incorrect spelling."

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School Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The summer band class was just getting under way when a large insect flew into the room. The Sixth Graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Tommy, could stand it no longer. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, then he stomped on it to ensure its demise."Is it a bee?" another student asked."Nope," Tommy replied. "Bee flat."

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Student jokes School Jokes

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth. He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said:
"May I come in. I lived in this very room thirty years ago when I studied in this college".
A young man opened the door and let him in.
The old man examined the room, fondly remembering everything.
He said, "The same old room, the same old wooden table, the ventilator and the same old window that opens to the garden. And the same old bed."
When examining it he found a young girl under the bed.
The young man got alarmed and said, "Don't mistake me. She is my sister. She dropped her ear ring and is searching for it."
The old man said, "And the same old story..."

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Knock-knock jokes School Jokes

Mother: I think our son is going to be an astronaut.
Father: What makes you think that?
Mother: I spoke to his teacher today. She said he is taking up space.

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School Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Yo mama so fат when she was in school she sat by everybody!

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Yo Momma Jokes School Jokes Fat Jokes

When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school.
I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over.
I haven't quite got the fetching part down.
They say I'm a little rough around the edges.

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Parent Jokes School Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Graduation Jokes Dog jokes

Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Communication Jokes

Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion class
The teaches asks the class "who is our lord and savior?"
The boy behind the girl pokes her with a pen and she screams jesus сhrisт!
The teacher says "good, now who created the earth in seven days?"
The boy pokes the girl again, she lest "oh my god!"
The teacher says "good, now what did Eve say to Adam after their 11 child?
The boy pokes the girl one more time and the girl yells "if you poke me with that ting one more time im going to break it off!"

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Religion jokes School Jokes God Jokes

Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest тiтs?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.

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Redhead Jokes School Jokes Blonde Jokes Old People Jokes Boob Jokes

Teacher: "Who can tell a story?"
Little Johnny: "Our maid's аss."
Teacher: "Why?"
Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her аss and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Dad Jokes

One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did.
My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."

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Church jokes Sports Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes

There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sеxuаl disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sеxuаl disorder clinic.
The chief resident is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees as patient маsтurватing in his room.
"What condition does he have?" the student asks.
"He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder", the resident replies. "If he doesn't еjасulате 40-50 times a day, he'll become disoriented."
As the two continue their rounds, the student peeks into another room and sees a patient with his pants around ankles, receiving оrаl sеx from a beautiful nurse.
"What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"
"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Nurse jokes Masturbation jokes School Jokes Boss Jokes