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School Jokes

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At school, when little Johny sees little Suzy he asks her if she'll climb the flag pole. When she tells him "No", he offers her $1 to climb it. She says "Yes". That night she tells her mother how she made $1 today by climbing the flag pole for little Johny. Her mother tells her not to do it again because all little Johny wants to do is see her underwear. Next day same thing happens. But when little Johny asks her to climb it for $1 and she says "No", he offers her $2 and she says "Yes". Again, she tells her mother this time how she made $2 climbing the flag pole. Her mother yells at her and tells her not to do it again because all little Johny wants to do is see her underwear. Next day same thing happens. But when little Johny offers her $1 to climb it and she says "No", he offers her $2 again but she still says "No". This time he offers her $5 and she says "Yes". Again, she tells her mother this time how she made $5 climbing the flag pole.
"That's it!" Her mother yells at her and tells her and now she's in big trouble. She says,
"Wait, mommy this time I tricked him". Her mother asks her how and she tells her this time she didn't wear any underwear!
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Long Jokes School Jokes
The classroom was silent. Mrs Smith was handing out to students their last homework sheet. As she did it, she wrote the word plenipotentiary on the whiteboard. Then she turned around and said,
" Attention boys and girls. This word is almost hardest English word in the world. So, your job is to put this word into a sentence. I'll give you an example for flower. "In the middle of the circle was a large teardrop shaped flower garden". You see? Nice and easy. Now, whoever made a sentence for the word plenipotentiary, there will be no homework for a month for him or her. So, start now. PLENIPOTENTIARY." Nobody seemed to do it but a boy called Darrell ( Stupidest kid in the classroom) far in the back raised his hand. Everybody stared at him and opened their mouth. Even Mrs Smith. " Oh Darrell, don't tell me you got it. I mean it is impossible for you to get the right answer for easy questions in the first place." Mrs Smith embarrassed him. Nearly everyone laughed. " No Miss, I actually got it. So here it goes, " In the classroom, the teacher shouted out the word plenipotentiary."
" Darrell replied. Later, he went home knowing that he don't have to do homework for a month.
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Long Jokes School Jokes
A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber. The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.
The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make sure you say you only made it to 6th grade, they don't like educated people."
The professor takes him up on the offer and becomes a plumber. His salary triples and he doesn't have to work nearly as hard. But the company makes an announcement that all of their plumbers must get a 7th grade education. So they all go to night school.
On the first day of night school they all attend math class. The teacher wants to gauge the class so he asks John, "What is the formula for the area of a circle?"
John walks up to the board and is about to write the formula when he realizes he has forgotten it. So he begins to attempt to derive the formula, filling the board with complicated mathematics. He ends up figuring out it is negative pi times radius squared. He thinks the minus doesn't belong so he starts over, but again he comes up with the same equation. After staring at the board for a minute he looks out at the other plumbers and sees that they are all whispering, "Switch the limits on the integral!"
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Long Jokes School Jokes
What do you call a young student who loves math and wants to know more about the number pi? An as-pi-ring mathematician!
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Pi day jokes School Jokes
A math teacher saw the movie American Pie. She gave it 3.14 stars.
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Pi day jokes School Jokes American Jokes
What's the math teacher's favorite dessert? Pi.
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Pi day jokes School Jokes
Why didn’t the banana student go to school?
He told his parents that he wasn’t peeling well.
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Banana jokes School Jokes
What kind of school do bananas go to?
Sundae school.
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Banana jokes School Jokes
Why did the young skeleton get in trouble at school? He told a fib-ula.
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Skeleton jokes School Jokes
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics
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Chicken jokes School Jokes
You can buy corn at student unions. Uni-corn.
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Corn jokes School Jokes
Why was Frieza not popular in high school? Because his brother was literally Cooler.
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Anime jokes School Jokes
Why did the teacher bring solar eclipse glasses to school?
She had bright students
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Eclipse jokes School Jokes
A teacher inquires about the new student’s name. “Happy Вuтт,” the girl responds.
The teacher says, “That isn’t your name, I believe. You must go to the principal’s office to resolve this matter.”
When the girl enters the principal’s office, he says, “What’s your name?” “Happy Вuтт,” the small girl says.
To find out the truth, the principal contacts the girl’s mother. “Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Вuтт,” he says to the girl after hanging up the phone.
The girl exclaims, “Glad Аss — Happy Вuтт — What is the difference?”
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Butt jokes School Jokes
62. What did the baboon study in law school? The law of the jungle.
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Monkey jokes School Jokes
Why do Troy State students have such beautiful noses?
They're hand picked.
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Alabama jokes School Jokes
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? Because he’s dead.
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Morbid jokes School Jokes
A teacher asked a Filipino student to use the words defense, defeat, and detail in a sentence.
The student answered, "Da dog jamped ober da pens: pers da peet and den da tail."
A teacher asked a Filipino student to use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.
The student answered, "Da telepone went green, green so I pink it ap and say yellow."
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Filipino jokes School Jokes Dog jokes
Evils of Marijuana
A certain college professor was known for getting off topic during lectures
His favorite off-topic subject was "the evils of marijuana".
One day into his lecture he started talking about wееd,
"Used regularly," he explained,"рот can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!"
Now wait a minute, professor," interrupted a student. "Castration? Now that's absurd!"
"Yes young man, it's sadly true," replied the professor smugly. "Just suppose your girlfriend gets the munchies!"
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Drug Jokes School Jokes
I experimented with marijuana in high school, but I pretty much have the technique perfected at this point.
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Drug Jokes School Jokes
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