One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

Why are you smiling?
Well I just made a test and I'm not pregnant.
That's wonderful, Harold!

1

It’s hard, being a cop in Alaska. You have to ask things like “What were you doing on the night from 15th December till 15th January?”

1

Math book. The only place where it’s normal to have 21 melons and suddenly eat twelve of them.

1

What is white and flies up?
A retarded snowflake

1

Do not go to the bathroom in a dream. It’s a trap!

1

I will never forget my dad’s last words:
“Will you stop playing with the bow, Nicholas?!”

1

Question on Facebook:
“What do you do with the white ball once you drank the mozzarella?”

1

It’s a good thing farts aren’t “contagious” like yawns.

1

What does Jon Venables and Liverpool united have in common? You'll never walk alone.

1

The only dates I get these days are software updates.

1

Being in a relationship is like riding a bike, but the bike is on fire and everything around you is on fire because you're in hell.

1

There's no "I" in "team" but there are 5 in "individual brilliance".

1

There is just one thing I absolutely must take out with me whenever I go gay clubbing. A baseball bat

1

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart ". Does that mean Iron Man is the most beautiful person on earth?

1

She's single if her man can't beat you up.

1

I never forget my son's first words... "Where the heck have you been for 16 years?"

1

A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree.
"Here, I killed your friend. Hold him."

1

Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I've been doing nothing for years.

0

If i get 51 kickass votes i have to f*ck a hooker!

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