Redneck goes into a doctors Anant and says "Doctor, doctor you've gotta help me. I just can't stop having sеx!"
"Well how often do you have it?" the doctor anant asks.
"Well, twice a day I have sеx with my wife, TWICE a day", he answers back.
"That's not so much", says dr anant.
"Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sеx with my secretary, TWICE a day," replies the man.
"Well that is probably a bit excessive," says the doctor.
"Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sеx with my neighbour pakistani lady, TWICE a day," says the redneck
"Well, that's definitely to much", says the dr Anant. "You've got to learn to take yourself in hand."
"I do", says the redneck. "Twice a day !!!
An old timer was sitting in his rocking chair on his front portch when a kid comes walking by with something in his hands.
The old timer asks the kid, "Hey son. Whatcha got there?"
The kid replies,
"I got me some chicken wire. I'm gonna catch me some chickens."
The old timer responds, "Oh son, you can't catch no chickens with chicken wire."
A short time later the old timer sees the kid come back with a bunch of flapping chickens all caught up in the chicken wire.
"Well, I'll be...'" says the old timer scratching his head.
The next day the kid comes walking past the old timer. This time he has something round and gray in his hands.
The old timer shouts out to the kid, "Hey kid, whatcha got in your hands this time?"
The kid responds, "I got me some duct tape. I'm gonna catch me some ducks."
The old timer laughs, "Son, you can't catch no ducks using duct tape."
A short time later the kid comes back with a bunch of ducks caught-up and quacking in the duct tape."
The old man cannot believe his eyes.
The next day the kid comes walking past the old timer, again with something in hs hands.
The old timer shouts out to the kid, "Hey kid, whatcha got in your hands today?"
The kid shouts back to the old timer, "I got me some рussy willow."
The old timer shouts out, "Hold on son... While I get my hat!"